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The NHS Response to Change: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, Wouldn't know Evil if it Sat on His Face.
"It's a panic alarm. It goes off every time management show any interest in another reorganisation."
"The idea that the government introduces change for the SAKE of it is NONSENSE...we also introduce it so we have an endless stream of tabloid friendly headlines and meaningless sound bites."
"It's not what you do, it's what people see that counts"
A businesswoman gives a presentation on a lifeboat
Tags:lifeboat, lifeboats, sinking ship, sinking ships, ship has sunk, sinking, sunk, too late, too little too late, businesswoman, businesswomen, businessman, businessmen, business person, business people, businessperson, businesspeople, presentation, presentations, change management, change manager, change managers, giving bad news
'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'
'Diversity is good, pass it down.'
"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."
"We can't call it restructuring, we did that in 98' and 97',"
Neanderthal man's lack of curiosity doomed him to extinction.
"I hardly think a transition team is necessary, Ed, in order to switch from beer to Scotch."
Come over here.
We can't call it restructuring,we did that in '98 and'97...
"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."
'Coming into work today I teared up on hearing 'The Way We Were'.'
'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'
'We're back from bankruptcy, Herbert. Doesn't it make you want to open the window and shout for joy?'
Too late to change
"He's worried that the changes might only affect 10% of the job, but it might be the 10% he knows something about!"
Tags:cuts, cutbacks, manager, management, skills, skill, change, change management, restructure, restructures, restructuring, cutting, cost cutting, cost saving, cost savings, cutting overhead, cutting overheads, business change, business changes, incompetent, incompetent worker, incompetent workers, incompetent employee, incompetent employees, middle manager, middle managers, middle management
There are better responses to 'change' than running around the office screaming 'We're doomed!'
"Top management are happy for staff to manage the changes required themselves..."
"Let's see which decision gets reversed first."
"There's a giant rock coming from the sky, we have to hide!"
Tags:management change, management changes, procrastinations, procrastinate, procrastinates, procrastinating, dino, dinos, comet, comets, meteor, meteors, meteor strike, ice age, ice ages, ice-age, ice-ages, change management, procrastination, procrastinate, dinosaur, dinosaurs, indecisive, indecision, indecisiveness
'Yeah, I hate change, too.'
I need someone who'll ask the tough questions, no matter how risky.