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"I thought this might happen. Contractions have started and I haven't sent out my change of address cards."
'Now that we've moved to this nudist colony, I suppose we should send everyone a change of undress notice!'
"What do I have to do to change the address on my account?"
'Hello, customer service? I'd like to report a change of address...'
'He's got bags of self-confidence - whenever he moves house, he sends the Nobel Prize Committee the new address...'