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"Here's what I want to say, Tony: You, me, everybody in our industry can make a difference. There, I've said it."
"Haven't you noticed, Ned, how everyone's films are getting shallower except mine."
'Have you noticed? She always calls a recess at the exact time 'Oprah' comes on tv.'
'I don't trust the government... what if we ask Oprah to bail us out instead?'
'The way I see it, with all the talk shows out there, nobody needs a wife!'
'And will you now please welcome Mr Fray, who is going to start a talkshow after-effect support group.'
TV talkshow: 'You've heard the owl's version...we'll bring out the cat!'
Rat interviewed on a Sports Chatshow.
The phantom of the Oprah.
"Hunger and thirst were bad. . . some people around me collapsed. . . and by the time I got home the kids were grown up and my wife had long since remarried. . . well, Ed. . . that was one hell of a long cash desk queue!"
"My next guest is a mob of angry villagers!"