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"Does this come in anything cheap?"
'You know, I always buy supermarket cava rather than fancy Champagne, and I challenge anyone to tell the difference.'
'Sure - They're still chocolates. It's just that the liver-shaped box was cheaper than the heart-shaped one.'
'You named a star after me as a birthday present? I did the same for you. It's called 'The cheapskate who buys lousy gifts'.'
'Yes, it used to be favorite gift but you're 47 and it's just not cute anymore.'
Thrift: Marry someone without fingers... Save on buying a ring!
Thrift: Divorce and remarry smaller.
Thrift: 'Instead of a 20 million euro ransom, we're demanding just 19 million!'
Thrift: Fat people, wear a dress and a wig and enjoy the benefits of being pregnant.
Thrift: Live in the sea, make friends with a whale, and shower for free.
Thrift: 'Collect a smaller child than your own from school... It eats less and fits the old clothes of the previous child.'
Thrift: Get back at the mafia and eat the free horse's head.
Thrift: Have a face-lift, and keep the old face.
Thrift: 'You've no idea how much I've saved on new shoe soles...'
'I take all my money out the bank each year for a holiday.'
'it's okay. The package says 'facial quality'.'
'You're clever - but miserly.'
The cheap skate - 'Separate checks, please.'