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"You both appear to be in excellent health."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, feline, felines, cat owner, cat owners, cat lady, cat ladies, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, examination, examinations, exam, exams, healthy, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, animal doctor, animal doctors, vet clinic, vet clinics, animal hospital, animal hospitals, veterinarian clinic, veterinarian clinics
"Those bullet holes are something new, aren't they?"
Tags:bullet, bullets, bullet hole, bullet holes, symptom, symptoms, health, health concern, health concerns, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, appointment, appointments, concern, concerns, cause for concern, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, family doctor, observe, observes, observant, bedside manner, casual, casual attitude, gun crime, gun crimes, mass shooting, mass shootings, gun culture, examination, examinations, symptomatic, disease, diseases, ill, illness, illnesses
"What happened to the hospital gown you were given?"
Tags:klan, the klan, robe, robes, wizard, grand wizard, gnome, gnomes, peasant, peasants, patient, patients, examination room, examination, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, treatment, treating, treatments, gown, gowns, pun, puns, play on words, word play, racism, race, disobedience, disobedient, obedient, obedience, obey, obeyed, check-up, check up, checkup, check-ups, checkups, check ups, hood, hoods, hooded, political, politics, ethnicity, nationality
"You'll have to be X-rayed, Mr. Jensen. I seem to be picking up Rush Limbaugh."
Tags:rush limbaugh, overweight, right wing, talk radio, conservative, conservatives, republican, republicans, republican party, partisan, partisans, partisanship, heart problem, heart problems, heart attack, heart attacks, clogged arteries, stethoscope, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, gain weight, gains weight, gaining weight, rush, worry, worries, diagnosis, reason to worry, reasons to worry, heart attack risk, heart attack risks
John W. Wilson 1949-2009 - Forgot to ask his doctor everything he wanted to ask him.
Tags:doctor, doctors, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, forget, forgets, forgetting, forgot, forgotten, absentminded, absentmindedness, absent-minded, absent-mindedness, disease, diseases, diseased, tombstone, tombstones, epitaph, epitaphs, headstone, headstones, fatal error, fatal errors, fatal mistake, fatal mistakes, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, hypochondria, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, illness, illnesses, gravestone, gravestones, cause of death, diagnosis, prognosis, concern, concerns, concerned
"I was just a kid when I got this one."
"Make that sound again, you know, the one that makes me laugh."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bed-ridden, bedridden, check-up, check-ups, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, health check, health checks, symptom, symptoms, stethoscope, stethoscopes, bedside manner, bad doctor, bad doctors, bad bedside manner, inappropriate comment, inappropriate comments, sound, sounds, laugh, laughter, laughing, sick, sickness, ill, illness
"And you say you've been erect for over 4 hours?"
Tags:snowmen, snowman, snow figure, snow figures, snow person, snow people, snow-person, snow-people, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, physical, physicals, medical test, medical tests, medical exam, medical exams, winter, wintertime, winter-time, winters
"Have you considered installing a dehumidifier?"
Tags:doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, medical professional, medic, medicine, medicines, fungal, fungi, fungal infection, infection, infected, infest, infested, infestation, mushroom, mushrooms, patient, patients, health, healthy, healthcare, living conditions, quality of life, mould, black mould, care, welfare, health and wellbeing, consultant, check up, check-up, checkup
"It's either conjunctivitis or twin pools of desire."
Tags:conjunctivitis, pink eye, diagnosis, diagnoses, eye, eyes, eye doctor, eye doctors, optician, opticians, optometrist, optometrists, optometry, ophthalmologist, ophthalmologists, ophthalmology, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, infection, infections, poet, poets, poetry, pretty eyes, beautiful eyes, attractive, attraction, attractions, twin pools, desire, desires
"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."
Tags:gp, gps, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, general practitioner, general practitioners, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, sigh, sighs, sigh of relief, patient, patients, patient care, healthcare, deep breaths, symptom, symptoms, medical diagnosis, medical diagnoses
"You're free to go, sir. But, seriously, I'd get that prostate looked at."
"Will I still be able to not exercise?"
9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.
Tags:stethoscope, stethoscopes, doctor, doctors, medical kit, medical kits, freezer, freezers, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, physician, physicians, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, medical recommendation, medical recommendations, healthcare, health care
"All these years, and you haven't listened to a damn thing I've said, have you?"
Tags:obese, obesity, weight problem, weight problems, fat, fatness, weight issue, weight issues, fat epidemic, fat problem, fat problem, obesity problem, fat, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, doctor, doctors, medical advice, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, check-up, check-ups, physical, physicals
"Science is baffled. I hope you're happy."
Tags:check-up, check up, check ups, check-ups, check, checks, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, clinic, clinics, physician, physical, physical exam, exam, examination, appointment, appointments, doctor, doctors, healthy, healthily, healthy lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyles, lifestyle change, get well, get well soon, baffled, baffle, visual gag, line, lines, abstract, squiggle, squiggly, science is
'Doc, I can't feel my toes!'
"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."
Tags:doctor, doctors, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, o.a.p., checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, outliving your usefulness, usefulness, useful, physician, physicians, geriatrics, geriatric medicine, life expectancy, life expectancies, long life, long-life
"Your DNA doesn't match your credit history."
"Thank You For Not Mentioning Dr. Oz."
Tags:doctor, doctors, physical, physical exam, check up, check-up, physicals, physical examination, check ups, check-ups, patient, patients, hypochondriac, hypochondria, tv, television, t v, consultant, medical professional, real doctor, fake doctor, fake doctors, media, celebrity, celebrities, celebrity doctor, celebrity doctors, clinic, clinics, hospital, hospitals
"I'm afraid it's your body, Mr. Haskins."
"I've written my diagnosis on this piece of paper. I'm going to slide it over to you, and I want you to tell me if you're interested."
Tags:doctor, doctors, health, healthy, diagnose, diagnosis, symptom, symptoms, get well soon, get well, sales, sales pitch, unorthodox methods, hospital, hospitals, surgery, surgeon, consultant, consultation, handwriting, doctor's handwriting, physician, check-up, appointment, hypochondria, hypochondriac, hypochondriasis
"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."
Tags:camera, cameras, surveillance, security camera, security, cctv, being watched, watched, watching, privacy, private, clinic, waiting room, waiting rooms, appointment, appointments, check up, check ups, check-up, check-ups, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, medical professional, medicine, sick, sickness, ill, illness, hurt, hurts, point, point to where, point, show, showing, show me, keep your distance, distance, distant, modern life, digital, digitally, modern world, impersonal, personal, good old days
"You're in great shape. I hope you have enough retirement savings to last another 30 years."
"You'll feel better when you see the doctor."