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"I told you never to call me at this number."
To conserve energy our staff will not respond.
"Oh, can't complain."
"Hey, no problem. Just touching base to say 'Hi. How goes it?' and to tell you that we really care about you. And now back to our show."
"O.K., Mom, I'm off the plane. I'll call you when I check into the hotel, and when I check out of the hotel, when I get on the plane home, and when I get off the plane home, and I'll call you when I'm in the driveway – glad you're not worrying."
'You won't count my trunk as a carry-on; I have to buy two seats because of my size, and you don't give out complimentary peanuts? Isn't this a jumbo jet?'
"Baldo, if you were dating a Hispanic girl, you wouldn't have these problems."
"Baldo, if a girl says you call too much, she's probably right."
'I knew when we started charging carry-ons...'