Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
'The bad news is that we've detected an irregular heartbeat. The good news is that the rhythm is irresistible!'
'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'
"You both appear to be in excellent health."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, feline, felines, cat owner, cat owners, cat lady, cat ladies, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, examination, examinations, exam, exams, healthy, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, animal doctor, animal doctors, vet clinic, vet clinics, animal hospital, animal hospitals, veterinarian clinic, veterinarian clinics
"Those bullet holes are something new, aren't they?"
Tags:bullet, bullets, bullet hole, bullet holes, symptom, symptoms, health, health concern, health concerns, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, appointment, appointments, concern, concerns, cause for concern, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, family doctor, observe, observes, observant, bedside manner, casual, casual attitude, gun crime, gun crimes, mass shooting, mass shootings, gun culture, examination, examinations, symptomatic, disease, diseases, ill, illness, illnesses
"What happened to the hospital gown you were given?"
Tags:klan, the klan, robe, robes, wizard, grand wizard, gnome, gnomes, peasant, peasants, patient, patients, examination room, examination, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, treatment, treating, treatments, gown, gowns, pun, puns, play on words, word play, racism, race, disobedience, disobedient, obedient, obedience, obey, obeyed, check-up, check up, checkup, check-ups, checkups, check ups, hood, hoods, hooded, political, politics, ethnicity, nationality
"You'll have to be X-rayed, Mr. Jensen. I seem to be picking up Rush Limbaugh."
Tags:rush limbaugh, overweight, right wing, talk radio, conservative, conservatives, republican, republicans, republican party, partisan, partisans, partisanship, heart problem, heart problems, heart attack, heart attacks, clogged arteries, stethoscope, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, gain weight, gains weight, gaining weight, rush, worry, worries, diagnosis, reason to worry, reasons to worry, heart attack risk, heart attack risks
John W. Wilson 1949-2009 - Forgot to ask his doctor everything he wanted to ask him.
Tags:doctor, doctors, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, forget, forgets, forgetting, forgot, forgotten, absentminded, absentmindedness, absent-minded, absent-mindedness, disease, diseases, diseased, tombstone, tombstones, epitaph, epitaphs, headstone, headstones, fatal error, fatal errors, fatal mistake, fatal mistakes, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, hypochondria, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, illness, illnesses, gravestone, gravestones, cause of death, diagnosis, prognosis, concern, concerns, concerned
"I was just a kid when I got this one."
"I'll need a guano specimen."
Tags:bat, bats, superhero, superheroes, checkup, checkups, appointment, appointments, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, physical, physicals, stool sample, stool samples, sample, samples, bowel movement, bowel movements, age, ages, ageing, aging, grow old, grows old, growing old, middle age, middle-aged, specimen, specimens, comic book, comic books, hero, heroes
"Make that sound again, you know, the one that makes me laugh."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bed-ridden, bedridden, check-up, check-ups, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, health check, health checks, symptom, symptoms, stethoscope, stethoscopes, bedside manner, bad doctor, bad doctors, bad bedside manner, inappropriate comment, inappropriate comments, sound, sounds, laugh, laughter, laughing, sick, sickness, ill, illness
"And you say you've been erect for over 4 hours?"
Tags:snowmen, snowman, snow figure, snow figures, snow person, snow people, snow-person, snow-people, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, physical, physicals, medical test, medical tests, medical exam, medical exams, winter, wintertime, winter-time, winters
"It's either conjunctivitis or twin pools of desire."
Tags:conjunctivitis, pink eye, diagnosis, diagnoses, eye, eyes, eye doctor, eye doctors, optician, opticians, optometrist, optometrists, optometry, ophthalmologist, ophthalmologists, ophthalmology, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, infection, infections, poet, poets, poetry, pretty eyes, beautiful eyes, attractive, attraction, attractions, twin pools, desire, desires
"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."
Tags:gp, gps, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, general practitioner, general practitioners, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, sigh, sighs, sigh of relief, patient, patients, patient care, healthcare, deep breaths, symptom, symptoms, medical diagnosis, medical diagnoses
"You're free to go, sir. But, seriously, I'd get that prostate looked at."
"How's the insomnia?"
Tags:baby, babies, sleep pattern, sleep patterns, sleep cycle, sleep cycles, newborn, newborns, insomnia, insomniac, insomniacs, sleep problem, sleep problems, sleeping problems, checkup, checkups, sleep deprivation, parent, parents, parenthood, new parent, new parents, sleep regression, sleep regressions
9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.
Tags:stethoscope, stethoscopes, doctor, doctors, medical kit, medical kits, freezer, freezers, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, physician, physicians, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, medical recommendation, medical recommendations, healthcare, health care
"All these years, and you haven't listened to a damn thing I've said, have you?"
Tags:obese, obesity, weight problem, weight problems, fat, fatness, weight issue, weight issues, fat epidemic, fat problem, fat problem, obesity problem, fat, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, doctor, doctors, medical advice, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, check-up, check-ups, physical, physicals
"You seem perfectly healthy to me."
Tags:donald, trump, the donald, laundry detergent, challenge, deadly, not food, not edible, inedible, poisonous, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, checkup, checkups, physical, physicals, physician, physicians, president, presidents, government, tricked, fooled, internet meme, internet game, internet challenge, social media, social media challenge
"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."
Tags:doctor, doctors, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, o.a.p., checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, outliving your usefulness, usefulness, useful, physician, physicians, geriatrics, geriatric medicine, life expectancy, life expectancies, long life, long-life
Depressed, not sleeping, low self esteem... still enough about me, what about you?
"Your DNA doesn't match your credit history."
"I'm afraid it's your body, Mr. Haskins."
"You're in great shape. I hope you have enough retirement savings to last another 30 years."
Tags:work-related injury, work-related injuries, injury, injuries, injured, accident, accidents, matador, matadors, bullfighter, bullfighters, bullfighting, bull, bulls, spear, speared, spearing, puncture, punctures, wound, wounds, wounded, doctor, doctors, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, accident, accidents, impaled
"You'll feel better when you see the doctor."