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'Bill says there's no money in our bank account, but I've still got some blank cheques left.'
"When I opened the cupboard it was full of junk food. When I opened the mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm afraid to open the checkbook."
Tags:checkbook, checkbooks, cheque book, cheque books, junk food, junk foods, fast food, fast foods, personal finance, money problem, money problems, family budgets, overspend, overspending, money, finances, family budget, personal finances, broke, no money, bank accounts, banking account, checkbook balance, marriage
"You never express your emotions. You're very blank."
Tags:checks, check, cheque, cheques, blank cheque, blank cheques, blank check, blank checks, cheque book, cheque books, check book, check books, checking accounts, bank accounts, checking, bank account, checking account, communicate, communication, communicating, relationship problems, marital problems, marriage problems, emotional blankness, emotional numbing, blank, blankness, emotion, emotions, emotional, expression, expressing yourself
'That house is a fixer upper. Are you handy with a checkbook?'
'I'm so bad with money, I never know how much I have in the bank unless I shake it and count what falls out.'
"I wish you'd talk to me, instead of just giving me that blank look!"
"It hurts when I do this Doctor"
'We'd make a great circus act. He balances the checkbook and I juggle the bills.'
Research continues to discover if the inability to balance a checkbook is genetic.
'50% of your figures are real, and 50% are made up.'
'How do you expect me to balance the checkbook on your income?'
"Will you take a cheque, mate?"
'What do you mean overdrawn, I still have 12 cheques left.'
"This is the patient, doctor..."
Tags:medical insurance, health insurance, medical cover, medical bill, medical bills, private healthcare, private medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, house call, house calls, housecall, housecalls, house-call, house-calls, cheque book, cheque books, nhs, private health care, private healthcare, national health service
'You've cut me off. So how can I find my cheque book in the dark?'
'How come Santa uses your checks?'
'But I gave you a cheque book two days ago.'
'I knew her two cheque-books ago...'
'That's a record. I had the check book balanced for all of fifteen minutes.'
'Isn't that a girlfriend of yours? Yes, three chequebooks ago.'
I gave you a cheque book only two days ago! Well it was so good, I couldn't put it down!
'Gosh, I've never used up a whole chequebook in a single day before!'
'But how can there ne NOTHING in my account? You sent me a new chequebook this morning!!'
'The fact that we have loads of money - and you're skint, is hardly the basis for us to offer you a loan, Mr Jones!'
STRIP Hambone: '...it can also balance your cheque book'