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"Could you give me a moment> I just had nine puppies."
Tags:dog, dogs, puppy, puppies, pet dog, pet dogs, dog lover, dog lovers, pet, pets, dog owner, dog owners, mans best friend, man's best friend, mum, mums, mother, mothers, mom, moms, sexist, glass ceiling the glass ceiling, misogyny, misogynist, misogynists, child birth, business woman, business women, businesswoman, businesswomen
"No, writing my book wasn't anything like giving birth. Why would you say such a stupid thing?"
'This app helps during labor by shouting very creative incentives and demands for retribution.'
Whoops, left the tape out. We'll have to start over.
"I'm thinking about freezing my eggs."
Tags:egg, eggs, penguin, penguins, reproduction, reproduce, reproduces, reproducing, pregnancy, pregnancies, obstetrics, obstetrician, obstetricians, sperm, fertility, fertility problem, fertility problems, child birth, childbirth, have a child, having a child, antarctica, fertility clinic, fertility clinics
"He was born breech."
Tags:opossums, opossum, possum, possums, marsupial, marsupials, born breech, breech, breech birth, breech births, breech presentation, birth, upside-down, upside down, upside-down birth, upside down birth, childbirth, child birth, midwife, mid-wife, mid wife, midwives, midwives, mid wives, midwifery
"... No, it's not true that you can't eat anything after surgery - you can have lots of choices, like ice chips in a cup, ice chips in a bowl, ice chips a la ice..."
Tags:child birth, childbirth, maternity, maternity ward, new mothers, baby, babies, new moms, pregnancy, pregnancies, obgyn, ob-gyn, ob care, healthcare, health care, ice chips, food, eating, food choices, surgery, surgical procedures, post-surgical, post-surgery, surgeons, nurse, nursing, hospitals, surgery recovery
"It was a difficult delivery."
Tags:physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, general practitioner, general practitioners, father, fathers, dad, dads, fatherhood, family, families, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, pregnancy, pregnancies, delivery, birth, child birth, baby, babies, maternity, maternity ward, maternity wards, monster, monsters
"You're tired? HELLO, what about me? I haven't slept since I was born!"
"I'm moving a little slow after the 'C' section."
"I'm a surrogate birth mother for hire. How do I claim my income?"
Babies bottom reads: 'Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.'
"This app helps you create expletives during labor for reproach, vilification and revilement."
Tags:baby shower, baby showers, labour, labours, labor, labors, childbirth, childbirths, child birth, child births, vilification, revilement, reproach, swear word, swear words, cradle, cradles, pregnancy, pregnancies, expectant, mother, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, contraption, contraptions, app, apps, gadget, gadgets, cell, cells
"Couldn't we hatch eggs like other birds?"
"I do love you, Jack, but I don't want to give birth to your children."
'I'm afraid your work insurance won't apply, Mrs. Ferguson -- you didn't have the baby during office hours.'
'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'
'I've got to have a talk with my mother. She thinks the stork brought me.'
"Congratulations on becoming a mom! Wow, he has such a big..."
Tags:mom, moms, mum, mums, motherhood, mother, mothers, birth, birthing, birth, delivery, deliveries, pregnancy, with child, bun in the oven, having children, having a child, mother's day, mothers day, pain, painful, childbirth, child birth, swordfish, sword fish, labor, labour, labour pain, labor pain, labour pains, labor pains, marine biology, marine biologist, marine biologists
Maternity Ward - Push Hard.
Baby name suggestions.
"I have a night delivery Darling, so I'll be home late: It's a baby owl..."
Tags:stork, storks, night shift, night shifts, night job, night jobs, night work, delivery, deliveries, childbirth, childbirths, baby, babies, child-birth, child-births, child birth, child births, owl, owls, night bird, night birds, nocturnal animal, nocturnal animals, nocturnal bird, nocturnal birds
'I don't care what my mum looks like. I only care she's got a huge wide pelvis.'
'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'