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Erica hated it when her ex tried to upstage her when he picked up the kids.
'Great news, honey-bunny. My divorce finally came through, and I got the kids.'
Poor kid, never had a chance.
"I got custody of the kids. Do you want one?"
'I'm sorry, but I have to let you go. Your mother got custody.'
Long custody battle.
"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.
Tags:divorce, divorces, child custody, free-range, free range, childcare, child care, child-care, split up, splitting up, split-up, splitting-up, break up, breaking up, break-up, breaking-up, separated, separations, separation, child arrangement, child arrangements, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, bad parent, bad parents, bad parenting, run wild, running wild, father, fathers, fatherhood, office worker, office workers, offices
"Rusty is the product of my first marriage."
'No, I really don't know how much I'm worth - but I'm sure my wife's divorce lawyer does.'
Following an especially difficult divorce.
"Sorry, I must let you go, your Mom won you in the takeover bid."
"Oh come on, already! One of you has to take custody of the children!"
Tags:divorce, divorces, custody battle, custody battles, family court, family-court, mother, mothers, father, fathers, dad, dads, mum, mums, mom, moms, parent, parents, child custody, divorce courts, custody of the children, judge, divorce court, marriage carve-up, family breakdown, family breakdowns
'Are the children with you of their mother?'
'Guess what? The judge awarded ME custody in today's two child custody cases!'
'He gets custody of your children. She gets custody of your money.'
'It's hard. I have to be a mother and father to them. Excpt on weekends when Eric has to be a father and mother to them.'
'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'
'You can have custody of the kids as long as I get custody of the money!'
'I'll relinquish most of my visitation rights if you'll just let Katie come over once in awhile to program my appliances.'
Access to the kids? No. I want access to the computer equipment.
'Your Honor, my client is willing to leave the custody for the kids to his wife. He just want the custody for the money.'
"You two are my parents? No offense, but I'd like a second opinion."
'It's a done deal...she keeps the cave and the kids...you get the wheels.'
'It's all settled. You get the house and car. You get the kids. And you get custody of the canary.'