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"It equals out. I pay alimony to Laurie and Denise, and I get alimony from Brenda and Suzanne."
Tags:alimony, divorce, divorcing, divorces, divorced, paying alimony, bigamy, polygamy, divorcing, divorce proceedings, maintenance, allowance, child support, slimy, immoral, bar, bars, drink, drinks, alcohol, sad, sad sack, scheme, scheming, plan, plans, marriage, marriages, married, marries, relationship, relationships, break up, break-ups, break ups, divorcee
"Hello, this is Johnny Deadbeat. I'm not home right now but my check is in the mail."
Tags:credit bureau, debt collector, debt collectors, custody, custody war, deadbeat, deadbeat dad, deadbeat father, excuse, excuses, negligent, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, bad parent, absent parent, absent father, absent dad, child support
',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'
"Negotiations are going to be tougher than I thought. Your wife is being backed by Syria."
'Sorry, but your dog having puppies does not entitle you to FMLA.'
Child Support Hose
Tags:play on words, play on word, nagging spouse, nagging wife, nagging wives, ex-wife, ex-wives, divorce, divorced, divorces, divorcee, single parent, single parenthood, single parenting, hosiery, panty hose, undergarments, undergarment, stockings, stocking, ex-husband, sad, sad sack, neglectful, neglect, neglecting, child support, alimony, child maintenance
"Oh yeah? Well my dad's child support payments are bigger than your dad's."
'You can't just stop seeing me. I'll sue for inner-child support.'
"For the divorce she took half of everything!"
"The fact is, sir, you're way behind on your child support...."
Tags:child support, child support payment, child support payments, vamp, vamps, bloodsucker, bloodsuckers, bloodsucking, father, fathers, vampire, vampires, child care, dead beat dad, child maintenance, dead-beat dad, family breakdown, family breakdowns, single mom, single parent, single parents, single mums, dracula, count dracula
'Don't worry, they'll find us -- I'm eight months behind in my alimony payments.'
"In addition to the alimony, she wants seven thousand a month support for the child within her."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, couple, couples, marriage, marriages, wife, wives, ex, exes, ex-wife, ex-wives, divorce, divorces, divorcing, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, family law, money, alimony, child support, support, inner child, childish, immature, wordplay, word play, play on words
New Improved Child Support Agency
'No, I really don't know how much I'm worth - but I'm sure my wife's divorce lawyer does.'
'Here's a tenner son, go and bring yourself up.'
Child Support Agency - 'Can you help us get our computers to work?'
'Lesson three: Dad's got a new girlfriend. Calculate the child support.'
"Okay, these are the documents we need to sue your ex for child support, and if we can convince the court it's not too out off line, to have the words, 'lying, cheating b*****d' tattooed on his forehead."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, divorce attorney, divorce attorneys, child support, child-support, child-supports, child supports, divorce, divorces, divorcing, marital problem, marital problems, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns, family court, custody battle, custody battles, messy, bad, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, revenge, vengeance, vengeful, ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-wives
"Believe me, marriage counselling is the better option: with so many kids, you can't afford a divorce..."
Tags:alimony, alimony payment, alimony payments, child support, child support payment, child support payments, rabbit, rabbits, bunny, bunnies, kid, kids, child, offspring, marriage counselling, marriage counseling, marriage counsellors, marriage counselors, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advice, therapy, couples therapy, couples counseling, couples counselling, divorce, divorces, expensive, expense, expenses
"I know you have no kids, but she still gets child support for her inner child."
Tags:inner child, inner kid, inner kids, child support, child support payment, child support payments, child-support payment, child-support payments, divorce, divorces, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, child maintenance, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex wife, ex wives, ex-husband, ex husband, ex husbands, divorce proceeding, divorce proceedings, marital breakdown, family court
'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'
'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'
'Looks like your father's maintenance cheque has arrived.'
Child Support: 'Under name of father you've put Dunno Somebloke - is that an ethnic name?'
Kids living in poverty
Tags:kids, poverty, poor, children, low income, starvation, starving, budget, budgets, social service, social services, budget cut, budget cuts, child welfare, child support, child benefit, child benefits, charity, charities, recession, recessions, first word, first words, social justice, economic justice