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'Tech support...I'd like to report a farmer in the dell!'
'Thanks anyway, but I'm more interested in the goose that laid the golden egg.'
Humpty Dumpty Travel Agency.
'Your father should have stayed working nights.'
"We want to know why piggy number three gets roast beef, and we get this slop!"
'Mother Goose, tear down this wall!'
"But I followed the recipe exactly. Honest I did. With god as my wit.... Oh, sorry.
Cows Jumping Over the Moon.
Physiotherapist tells Humpty Dumpty: 'OK, you've had a great fall, but we'll have you back on that wall in no time.'
'Jack, we could stop falling down this stupid hill if you'd stop worrying about contaminants in our tap water.'
'Big deal. I once jumped over the sun.'
'So now what?'
'This time you break your damn crown and I'll come tumbling after ! '
'So, this Humpty Dumpty guy falls off the wall and I think, dang, what a waste!'
'I did think a few more of mine would've moved on by now...'
Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.
'He said it's an 'occupy the wall' movement.'
Man sees door sign at Podiatrist's office: 'This Little Piggy Went to Market'.
"I'm prescribing a full week off your feet to prevent fallen arches."
Little girl goes to "Little Miss Muffet School of Entomology"
We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.
"Milk, milk, lemonade, round the back's where chocolates made."
'Y'know, Humpty, you need to get right back on that wall!'