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It was at times like this he realised the value of a more personal insurance service.
'Someday son, all this will be yours to argue with the Environmental Protection Agency over.'
Christmas 2012. Wet not White.
"The heat of the flames on my feet makes me feel thankful my feet aren't on fire."
'Bloody solar panels!'
'I wasn't in a bar!! I smell like smoke because I've been going down chimneys all flippin' night!'
Tags:santa, santa claus, christmas, christmases, christmasy, december 25th, december, christmas eve, bar, bars, drink, drinks, drinking, drunk, deliver, delivery, delivers, delivered, chimney, chimneys, smoke, smokey, smokes, smoking, accused, accusing, wife, work, working, job, jobs, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Try rolling on the ground! Roll around on the ground!"
Tags:christmas, noel, yule, xmas, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, elf, elves, santa's helper, santa's helpers, chimney, chimneys, going down the chimney, fireplace, fireplaces, smoke, fire, hearth, hearths, on fire, fire safety, roll, stop drop and roll, roll on the ground, advice, firemen, fireman, firewoman, firewomen, firefighter, firefighters, safety, fire hazard, fire hazards, dangerous, risky
'Ma'am, don't you know that dirty chimneys are a fire hazard?'
Santa being squeezed into chimney by reindeers.
'I knew it!! I just KNEW IT!!! - I KNEW we should have filled out a confined space entry permit!!'
"Sales are through the roof!"
"I said it's not often one gets one's chimney swept by a person with a B.A. from Sarah Lawrence."
Tags:new york, new york city, sarah lawrence, sarah lawrence college, ba, bas, bachelor of arts, degree, degrees, undergrad, undergrads, undergrad degree, undergrad degrees, service economy, service economies, overeducated, over-educated, overeducation, college degree, college degrees, social science degree, social science degrees, liberal arts degree, liberal arts degrees, chimney, chimneys, chimney sweep, chimney sweeps
Happy Face Grows Third Eye.
"Just clean out the gutters, Tony, and point the chimney."
Tags:barber, barbers, barbershop, barbershops, haircut, haircuts, hair cut, hair cuts, hairstyle, hairstylist, hairstylists, hair, hairdresser, hairdressers, gutter, gutters, maintenance, house maintenance, chimney, chimneys, handwork, handyman, handymen, absurd, mason, masons, masonry, home repair, home repairs
Santa crawling out of log burning stove.
Mrs Claus Gives Santa a Chimney Toilet.
A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, diner, diners, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, counter, counters, grill, grills, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, cooking, short-order cook, short-order cooks, grilling, vent, vents, fan, fans, ventilator, ventilators, chimney, chimneys, duct, ducts, exhaust, exhausts, system, systems, turn on, turning out, sucked up, vacuumed, vacuum, vacuums, suction, amateur, amateurs, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, strong
Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.
"You smell like a chimney."
'This quantitative easing is taking too long.'
"You should have been here last week. This is clean coal."
Tags:pollutant, pollutants, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmental activist, environmental activists, factory, factories, air pollution, air toxin, industrial pollution, industrial pollutants, chimney, smoke, smog, carbon emissions, carbon footprint, coal, clean coal, power plant, power plants, global warming, climate change
"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"
Tags:dracula, stocking, stockings, hanging stocking, hanging stockings, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, saint nick, saint nicholas, sneak, sneaks, sneaking, creep, creeps, creepy, detection, break-in, break-ins, break in, break ins, breaking in, fireplace, chimney, chimneys