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The Walrus and the Spoilsport
Tags:the walrus and the carpenter, through the looking glass, alice's adventures in wonderland, cholesterol, cholesterol levels, poem, poems, poetry, shellfish, high cholesterol, blood pressure, high blood pressure, medication, nag, nags, nagging, chide, chides, chiding, admonish, admonishes, admonishing, healthy food, healthy foods, healthy eating, healthy eater, healthy eaters, nutrition, nutritionist, nutritionists, dietitian, dietitians, dietician, dietiticians, healthy life, healthy living, gadfly, gadflies
"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"
Tags:statin, statins, cholesterol, cholesterol levels, fatty food, fatty foods, diet, diets, dieting, prescription, prescriptions, high cholesterol, bad cholesterol, drug, drug dealer, drug dealers, drug dealing, stodge, stodgy food, stodgy foods, health nut, health nuts, bar food, bar foods, diner food, diner foods, carnivore, carnivores, carnivorous, medication, medications, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, drug user, drug users, drug use
"We wish you gave us enough sense to avoid all this cholesterol, salt and all these additives."
Tags:saying grace, grace, worship, cholesterol, salt, added salt, additive, additives, prayer, prayers, pray, praying, worshiping, worship, worshipping, dinner, dinners, meal, meals, faith, faiths, giving thanks, healthy eating, healthy living, healthy food, modern life, cholesterol level, cholesterol levels, self restraint, self control
"Your best cholesterol lacks all conviction, and your worst is full of passionate intensity."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, result, results, diagnosis, diagnoses, best, lack, lacks, lacking, cholesterol, cholesterol level, cholesterol levels, conviction, worst, full, passionate, intensity, poetry, poem, poems, poet, poets, famous poem, famous poems, famous poet, famous poets, literature
"I'm looking over your results, Mr. Dumpty...and your cholesterol is dangerously high!"
"Your heart rate's good, but it shouldn't be beating under the floor like that."
Tags:heart rate, heart rates, telltale heart, poe, edgar allan poe, short story, short stories, beating, beating heart, blood pressure, guilt, guilty, floorboard, floorboards, floor, flooring, beat, beats, heartbeat, heartbeats, high blood pressure, cholesterol, cholesterol level, cholesterol levels, murder, murders, horror, horror story, horror stories
"Congratulations...your cholesterol is lower than your copay."
Tags:healthcare, health care, insurance, health insurance, copay, copayment, copayments, co-pay, co-payment, co-payments, cholesterol, cholesterol level, cholesterol levels, insurance coverage, bad insurance, obamacare, affordable care act, aca, healthcare payment, healthcare payments, rising cost of healthcare, rising cost of health care, deductible, deductibles, insurance premium, insurance premiums
"Take a wild guess, butter boy."
Tags:butter, fatty food, fatty foods, cholesterol, cholesterol level, cholesterol levels, lard, fat, fats, artery, arteries, clogged artery, clogged arteries, cause of death, death, grim reaper, saturated fats, high cholesterol, heart attack, heart attacks, diet, bad diet, bad diets, weight gain, heart disease, saturated fat
First Visit From The Acme Cholesterol-Removal Service
'If that new missionary doctor tells us one more time that 'we are what we eat', I'm going to be sick.'
"Your cholesterol is high. I'm putting you on a 'no fat' diet - super models only."
Tags:dracula, vampire, vampires, vamp, vamps, mythical being, mythical beings, mythical monster, mythical monsters, super model, super models, supermodel, supermodels, model, models, modelling, cholesterol, health problem, health problems, cholesterol levels, medical advice, bloodsucker, bloodsuckers, doctor's advice, healthy diet, healthy diets, fatty food, fatty foods, doctors advice
"Your good cholesterol has come under the influence of your bad cholesterol."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, cholesterol, cholesterol level, cholesterol levels, bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, health, fitness, sick, ill, bad influence, middle age, old age
Guess your cholesterol
'It's complicated, Mister Datton - It seems your good cholesterol is actually born-again bad cholesterol.'
"Forget cholesterol. We eat meat, and that's that."
"Maybe selling the cow for a bag of beans was a bad deal, but my cholesterol has never been better!"
'My gosh! My blood pressure is off the chart, my blood sugar is a mess, and my cholesterol is twice what it shoudl be! How could it get any worse?' 'Then you haven't told him about his prostate...'
"Look, Doc, I'm a penguin. All I do is swim and eat fish. How on earth do I end up with high cholesterol?"
"I've seen bad cholesterol before, but yours is the baddest!"
"You have to order an egg substitute? How about chocolate cake?"
'That's just a warning to lay off the cream-filled doughnuts and start getting some exercise,'
Vending machines labeled 'SNACKS' and 'STATINS.'
'It has my horoscope, heart rate and cholesterol level...but I'm sorry, I don't have the time.'
'It has my horoscope, my heart rate, and my cholesterol level.. but I'm sorry, I don't have the time.'