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The Sharpest thing there is: Christ's Pocket Knife
"Jitters on Wall Street today over rumors that Alan Greenspan said, 'A rich man can as soon enter Heaven as a camel fit through the eye of a needle.' "
Tags:news, media, business, stock market, government, federal reserve, banks, religion, bible, greenspan, jesus, jesus christ, eye of a needle, eye of a needle speech, eye of a needle speeches, frugal, frugal life, wall street, stock market, market report, market reports, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, socialist, socialists, socialism, christ, mankoff
Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,
"Maybe he can't swim."
Tags:swim, swims, swimming, swimmer, swimmers, christ, miracle, miracles, miraculous, new testament, jesus, gospel, gospels, bible, bible story, bible stories, non-swimmer, non-swimmers, walk on water, walks on water, walking on water, can't swim, excuse, excuses, poor excuse, poor excuses, lame excuse, lame excuses, son of god
A Wii in a manger
Tags:three kings, king, kings, manger, mangers, jesus, christ, console, consoles, games, game, stables, stable, christmas, xmas, born, birth, saviour, saviours, savior, saviors, sheep, donkey, donkeys, chickens, chicken, nativity, crib, cribs, three wise men, wise men, wise man, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."
Tags:braces, glasses, nerd, nerds, nerdy, nerdiness, late bloomer, late bloomers, rejection, rejections, rejecting, cool, coolness, popular, popular kid, popularity, popular kids, unpopular, class reunion, class reunions, reunion, reunions, glasses, messiah, messiahs, christ, jesus christ, christian, christians, christianity, recognition, recognize, recognizes, recognizing, cool kid, cool kids, loser, losers, reject, rejects, rejection, rejections
"Verily I say unto you that the wife is good, but the mother-in-law..."
"Putting the Christ back in Christmas."
Tags:christmas, xmas, noel, yule, shopping, christmas shopping, shopper, shoppers, gift, gifts, present, presents, toy, toys, price, prices, expensive, money, finances, consumerism, commercialisation, commercialization, retail, shop, shops, store, stores, religion, religious, war on christmas, christ, jesus christ, jesus, marketing, advertising, swearing, cursing, wordplay, word play
Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.
"Everyone wants to know what Jesus would do. No one ever asks how Jesus is feeling about his complicated relationship with his father."
Tags:jesus, jesus christ, messiah, what would jesus do, wwjd, christ, christianity, religion, father, fathers, dad, dads, father son relationship, father son relationships, difficult relationship, difficult relationships, complicated relationship, complicated relationships, family issues, family problems, crisis of confidence
A lightning bolt bounces from a church and hits a house.
Tags:god, god's will, wrath, god's wrath, vengeance, god's vengeance, catholic, catholics, catholicism, christ, christian, christians, christianity, pray, prays, praying, praying, prayer, prayers, landscape, curse, curses, cursed, lightning, lightning strike, lightning strikes, reverend, reverends, redirect, redirects, redirecting, storm, storms, storming, rainstorm, rainstorms
Jesus Loves Me According To Wikipedia
Tags:jesus, jesus christ, christ, christian, christians, christianity, jesus loves you, jesus loves me, unreliable source, unreliable sources, internet source, internet sources, wiki, wikis, encyclopedia, encyclopedias, sign, signs, street preacher, street preachers, street preaching, source, sources
"It's really a waste of ten bucks, since I'm omniscient."
"I'm leaving you and the kids to join the Promise Keepers."
Tags:evangelical, evangelicals, irony, ironic, fatherhood, families, family, christian, christians, bible, bibles, husband, husbands, father, fathers, dad, dads, religion, religions, radical, radicals, jesus, jesus christ, christ, marriage, marriages, conservative, conservatives, family values, divorce, divorced, divorcing
The Dow Jesus Index
Tags:jesus, jesus christ, christ, rise from the dead, rise again, dow jones, stock market, stock markets, stock, stocks, stock market crash, stock market crashes, stock market rise, stock market rises, economy, economies, maga, make america great again, miracle, miracles, trump, donald trump, president donald trump, president trump, trump administration
"For the last time- I can't Rapture you out to the Hamptons."
Tags:jesus, god, gods, religion, religions, pray, praying, beg, begging, summer, the hamptons, hamptons, escape, escaping, heaven, rapture, rapture to heaven, traffic, raptures, second coming of christ, christ, christian, christians, transport, transporting, wealth, wealthy, bus, buses, drive, driving, vacation, vacations, summer, summers, holiday, holidays
"I hear he turned water int wine, but it was a rather poor-quality Mesopotamian Cabernet."
"King Herod sent us."
Tags:nativity, nativity story, nativity scene, birth of jesus, jesus birth, jesus, christ, jesus christ, the birth of christ, mary, the virgin mary, i.c.e., ice, immigration and customs enforcement, immigration, immgration controversy, immigration controversies, immigrants, anti-immigration, christian values
'Children, this is your new science teacher.'
Easter Bunny crushed by tomb stone.
"Did I miss something?"
Tags:jesus, jesus christ, christ, seven disciples, seven apostles, apostle, miss something, missing somethin, face mask, face masks, ppe, personal protective equipment, covid-19, covid 19, corona, coronavirus, novel coronavirus, corona virus, novel corona virus, pandemic, pandemics, coronavirus pandemic, covid-19 pandemic, covid 19 pandemic, public health crisis, global health crisis, self-isolation, social distancing, social distanced, socially distanced, physical distancing, quarantine
If Jesus had been armed.
"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."
Tags:jesus, christ, jesus christ, carry cross, carrying the cross, cross, crucifix, crucifixes, crosses, religion, religious, word play, word-play, play on words, jogger, jogging, jog, jogs, accept him as my, personal trainer, pt, personal trainers, personal training, training, train, trainer, personal best, sport, sports, running, run, runs, modern, modern life, christianity, christian, christians, convert, converting, converts, god, gods
"He's bringing Judaism into the first century."
No Room at the Inn