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'If you look at paragraph 23 section 12 you'll see that your comprehensive life insurance does not in fact cover the thanksgiving holiday period.'
"I stuffed it with things found around the house."
Tags:turkey, turkeys, thanksgiving, chicken, chickens, cook, cooks, cooking, stuffing, stuffings, dressing, dressings, dinner, dinners, meal, meals, supper, suppers, misunderstand, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, bad cook, bad cooks, found object, found objects, loose change, haphazard, christmas, christmas dinner, banquet, dinner party, dinner parties, disaster, disasters
"Catherine would like to share some holiday thoughts with us on the subject of gender-neutral toys."
Tags:gender neutral, gender, holiday, holidays, christmas, christmas season, holiday season, dinner, dinners, politically correct, political correctness, speech, speeches, liberal, liberals, address, addresses, addressing, christmas dinner, christmas dinners, xmas, x-mas, pc, pc culture, politically correct culture, pray, prays, praying, prayer, prayers, modern life, modern times
"The takeaway tonight is 'Thanks.' "
'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'
We were asked to insure them against poisoning their guests.
Helen was determined to get rid of her leftovers.
'That's not what I meant when I asked you to carve it.'
'Christmas is coming; I want to review my policy.'
"Thanksgiving shmanksgiving - we both know this is because I slept with your wife."
Tags:thanksgiving, turkey, turkeys, turkey dinner, turkey dinners, revenge, vengeance, other man, other men, cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, cheating wife, cheating wives, adultery, adulterer, adulterers, execute, executes, executing, execution, executions, fight back, fights back, fighting back, christmas, christmas dinner, christmas dinners, excuse, excuses, lame excuse, lame excuses
'Are you having the usual turkey for Christmas this year?'
£"First they murder your whole family, then they start singing peace on Earth..."
"Why do I always get stuck at the Kids' Round Table?"
Tags:round table, round tables, knights of the round table, kids table, kids' tables, family dinner, family dinners, thanksgiving, thanksgiving dinner, thanksgiving dinners, christmas dinner, christmas dinners, outcast, outcasts, exclusion, excluded, in-group, in-groups, clique, cliques, exclude, excludes, excluded, exclusion, hurt feelings, family gathering, family gatherings
'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'
"Do you remember when Christmas was all about the family getting together and shouting at each other!"
Tags:celebration, celebrations, christmas, christmases, xmas, xmases, festive period, festive season, family holiday, family holidays, family life, family time, christmas dinner, modern life, digital age, cell, cells, cellphone, cellphones, mobile, mobiles, phone, phones, smartphone, smartphones, digital period, christmas lunch
A saved Christmas turkey
Christmas was one of the few times of the year that Rodney was able to take advantage of working for the genetic research laboratory.
"They yell at me a lot, but I've got a job until after all the turkey holidays!"
"Do you think my peacock disguise will work?"
Tags:turkey, turkeys, peacock, peacocks, disguise, disguises, disguising, poor disguise, poor disguises, bad disguise, bad disguises, thanksgiving, holidays, holiday season, holiday seasons, thanksgiving dinner, christmas dinner, thanksgiving dinners, christmas dinners, christmas supper, christmas suppers
"Who tipped off the turkey?"
"I like it after the holidays, when the crowds are gone."
Tags:holiday, holidays, crowd, crowds, post-holiday, after the holidays, thanksgiving, christmas, xmas, noel, yule, thanksgiving dinner, christmas dinner, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, turkey, turkeys, farm, farms, farmer, farmers, gone, dead, death, food, poultry, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"
"Do you remember when Christmas was all about the family getting together and having a big fight?"
Tags:christmas, christmas dinner, christmas dinners, holiday, holidays, holiday dinner, holiday dinners, fight, fights, fighting, row, rows, argument, arguments, dysfunction, dysfunctional, modern family, modern families, modern times, tablet, tablets, technology addiction, technology addictions, tech addict, tech addicts, digital divide, old-fashioned, oldfashioned, family dinner, family dinners, family
"Man, I am stuffed."