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"My name is S. Claus and I'm a milk-and-cookie-oholic."
'The North Country Snowblower Massacre'
"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."
"Hang in there, Blitzen! It's just until I get the dish fixed!"
Tags:christmas, christmastime, holidays, noel, santa, santa clause, north pole, reindeer, santa's reindeer, tv dish, tv, tv reception, reindeers, santa's reindeers, television, antler, antlers, satellite, satellite dish, connection, service, saint nicholas, telecommunications, blitzen, assurances, assurance
"You know I hate you, right?"
'My fitness band is telling me I need to be active more than one day a year.'
Tags:santa claus, christmas, christmastime, x-mas, x mas, xmas, holidays, fitness, exercise, physical activity, fitness trackers, fitness band, smart watches, wearables, data tracker, tracking data, data technology, big data, big-data, health data, personal data, information technology, biometrics, biometric data, vitals, health stats, health statistics, computers, mobile devices
'Our new Finance Director, Ebenezer, tells me he can start immediately on identifying areas where we can make cuts.'
'Your numbers are continuing to slide, Santa. You need to be active more than one day a year.'
Tags:santa claus, christmas, christmastime, x-mas, x mas, xmas, holidays, doctors, physicians, health, fitness, healthcare, exam room, lab work, lab numbers, health screenings, biometric screenings, blood work, bloodwork, exercise, sedentary lifestyles, medical advice, prognosis, diagnosis, sedentary lifestyle
'Great, the 53,927th plate of cookies tonight. I'll never get my health insurance bonus now!'
'You probably should cut back on the milk and cookies, Santa.'
"We have no specials today, Ma'am. 'Cyber Monday' means robots are taking the orders."
Tags:robot, robots, cyborg, cyborgs, cyber, cyber monday, black friday, holiday, holidays, holiday shopping, shopping, sale, sales, deal, deals, christmas, christmastime, christmas time, holiday season, holiday seasons, automated ordering, internet shopping, web shopping, shopping on the web, job replacement, job replacements, replacement, replacements, replace, replaces
"Lately I've had uncontrollable cravings for venison.
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, christmas, christmastime, christmas time, winter, winters, winter festival, winter festivals, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, therapy, therapist, therapists, psychology, psychologist, psychiatrist, psychiatry, talking therapy, venison, meat, meats, reindeer, santas reindeer, santa's reindeer, santas sleigh, santa's sleigh, craving, cravings, meat craving, meat cravings, christmas eve
Line of children to see Santa Claus; Line of parents to use the ATM
Tags:atm, automated teller machine, atms, automated teller machines, atm machine, atm machines, cash point, cash points, cash machine, cash machines, money machine, money machines, bank machine, bank machines, bank, banks, money, cash, line, lines, lining up, line up, queue, queues, queuing, santa, santa claus, mall santa, sit on santa's knee, visit santa, season, seasons, seasonal, mall, malls, store, stores, shop, shops, winter, christmas, christmastime, christmas season, xmas, noel, yule, shopping, xmas shopping, christmas shopping, consumerism, gift, gifts, present, presents, kids, kids, child, children, adults, parent, parents, family, families, shopping mall, shopping malls, department store, department stores
"Me? I'm just here to see how you get so much stuff in one little sleigh."
"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."
Santa parks his sleigh on the rough side of town.
Santa Claus does not exist - Satan
Santa Claus standing and posing with a group of misfit reindeer.
"This is the time of year we should get everything we want!"
Cruz goes to kiss Rayna under mistletoe and is cut off by her father.
Tags:baldo, mistletoe, christmas, christmas season, christmastime, christmas time, kiss, kissing, nontraditional relationship, nontraditional relationships, robot, robots, telepresence robot, telepresence robots, protective parent, protective parents, dad, dads, overprotective, overprotective father, overprotective fathers, christmas season, holiday season
'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)
Notebook computer has melted snowman's lower half. Other snowman says: 'I warned you about using that laptop.'
'Children's advent calendar.'
Thanksgiving is a time to think about what you have. Christmas is a time to think about what you don't have.