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"He ain't heavy, Father. He's a noodle."
If the confessionals a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'!!!"
"Today's sermon will be followed immediately by a rebuttal from the opposition."
Tags:day of rest, days of rest, sabbath, atone, atones, atonement, casual dress, casual dresses, dressing, sermon, sermons, sunday, sunday mass, sunday masses, sunday service, sunday services, services, church, churchgoer, churchgoers, churchgoing, hawaiian print, congregation, congregations, seventh day, day of rest, days of rest, casual dress, casual wear
'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'
"It's not just the church that needs evangelists. So does big oil."
Tags:church, churches, evangelist, evangelists, evangelical, evangelicals, big oil, oil company, oil companies, spokesman, spokesmen, spokesperson, spokespeople, praise, praises, praising, shill, shills, shilling, corporation, corporations, megacorporation, megacorporations, mega-corporation, mega-corporations, run interference, runs interference, running interference, minister, ministers, reverend, reverends, priest, priests, pastor, pastors
'I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore, but thanks to bingo I still get to church once a week.'
Priest getting stained glass glasses.
"And the Lord spoke to the children of Israel and said, 'Thou must forswear these practices which are a blasphemy and an abomination in my sight, you know what I'm saying?'"
Tags:religion, religious, church, churches, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, reverend, reverends, preacher, preachers, sermon, sermons, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, commandment, commandments, ten commandments, 10 commandments, decalogue, casual, informal, understandable, slang, modern language, modern english, modern life, you know
"Don't get secular with me, pal."
Tags:secular, secularism, secularize, secularizes, church, churches, religion, religious, threat, threats, threatening, state, separation, separation of church and state, cliche, saying, sayings, don't get, bar, drink, drinks, drinking, church and state, non religious, atheist, agnostic, agnosticism, atheism
"Still Undecided Political Blocs"
Tags:politics, political, politically, politician, politicians, elect, elected, election, elections, campaign, campaigning, campaigns, campaigner, campaigners, chief, chiefs, clash, culture clash, culture clashes, clashed, clashing, stereotype, stereotypes, voter, vote, votes, voters, example, examples, bloc, blocs, absurd, political bloc, political blocs, church, churches, church and state, pro-war, oil men, christian, texas, texan, american, america, american politics, trust-funded, trust-fund, gun, guns, enthusiast, enthusiasts, cross, cross over, crossover, cross-over
"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."
"God must have been very pleased."
Tags:france, notre-dame, cathedral, cathedrals, church, churches, architecture, architect, architects, religion, religious, christianity, christian, christians, catholic, catholics, catholicism, god, happy, pleased, impressive, impressed, worship, worshipping, landmark, landmarks, medieval, history, historical, gothic, art, tourist, tourists, tourism
"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."
Tags:religion, religious, church, churches, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, reverend, reverends, sermon, sermons, parish, congregation, congregations, parishioner, parishioners, church-goer, church-goers, sick, sickness, ill, illness, disease, diseases, death, dying, church fund, church funds, donation, donations, offering, offerings, money, punishments, blessing, blessings, money-hungry, greedy, greed, sins, grotesque
"Are these microphones, O Lord, on?"
Tags:televangelism, televangelist, televangelists, tv, television, t v, modern, modern life, modernity, modern world, camera, cameras, lights camera, minister, ministerial, pastor, pastors, church, churches, churchs, mic, mics, microphone, microphones, god, gods, lord, lords, christian, christianity, evangelical, evangelism, evangelical christian, american ministry, ministry, bible, biblical, language
"I'm afraid this is auf Wiedersehen, Padre. Estelle and I are setting up our own little religion."
A grotesque looks at another grotesque who is wearing a baseball cap.
Tags:demon, demons, devil, devils, monster, monsters, creature, creatures, gargoyle, gargoyles, grotesque, grotesques, art, sculpture, sculptures, statue, statues, church, churches, cathedral, cathedrals, architecture, architect, architects, gothic, baseball cap, baseball caps, fashion, style, hat, hats
"If I've learned one thing in my long reign, it's that heat rises."
Tags:hot air, high ceiling, high ceilings, rise, rises, physics, geophysics, chemistry, cold, cold house, cold houses, cold home, cold homes, insulate, insulation, insulated, temperature, temperatures, freeze, freezes, freezing, monarch, monarchs, king, kings, architect, architects, architecture, church, churches, cold, shiver, shivers, shivering
"And may the Lord in his wisdom see to it that we get our hands on some of that government scratch."
First Unified Church of Anti-Clinton
Tags:government, governments, politics, politician, politicians, bill, clinton, republican, republicans, gop, religious, religion, religions, church, freedom of religion, evangelical, christian, christians, christianity, right wing, thoughts and prayers, president, presidents, election, elections, voting, voter, voters
Regular Confession and Express Booth.
'Wouldn't it be easier to just SMS God, rather than pray'
Preaching to the Choir Since 1846
"How many bad habits do you have to have to equal once vice?"
Tags:habit, habits, bad habit, bad habits, sins, vice, vices, morality, ethics, ethical, penance, forgiveness, hail mary, priest, priests, minister, ministers, religion, repentance, repent, mortal sin, mortal sins, religion, catholicism, christianity, church, churches, places of worship, place of worship, level of offense, guilt, conscience
'Ed moves that we buy new choir slickers and adjourn for pizza. Do I hear a second?'