Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
Today's semon by the Rev. Robert Smith (Never on TV)
Tags:church, churches, christianity, christian, christians, church goer, church goers, mass, not famous, reverend, reverends, priest, priests, pastor, pastors, minister, ministers, religion, religions, religious, tv, tvs, television, televisions, show, shows, tv show, tv shows, television show, television shows
'I know you haven't seen me.. your last sermon was so good, it lasted me an entire year!'
"I AM committed to church. I go sometimes, once in a while, and every now and then."
Church Pastor Paul Lucas - NOW IN 3D
Tags:church, church goers, entice, enticing, attention grabbing, unnecessary, signs, advertisements, sermon, religion, pastors, preachers, preacher, preach, 3d, opening night, 3-d, sermons, advertising, advertising tactics, advertising strategy, advertising strategies, advertising tactic, advertising tactics
"And now The Reverend Higgins will beat the love of God into each and every one of you."
Tags:priest, priests, vicar, vicars, holy man, holy men, church, churches, church service, mass, church mass, worship, worshiper, worshipers, reverend, reverends, holy father, pray, prayer, prayers, tough love, rite, rites, ritual, rituals, cant, boxing, boxing gloves, pugilist, pugilism, pugilists, religious rites, religious vows, religious worship, bishop, bishops, archbishop, archbishops, church goer, church goers, sunday service, sunday mass, evensong
John panics as he realizes being first to put money in the offering means people will know how much he gave.
Tags:church, church collection, church collection, collection basket, collection baskets, collection, collections, churchgoer, churchgoers, church goer, church goers, offering, offerings, church offering, church offerings, church offering basket, church offering baskets, catholic, catholics, protestant, protestants, comparison, comparisons, shame, shames, shaming, panic, panics, panicking
"The turnstile will help count attendance and raise the offering."
Tags:turnstile, turnstiles, church, churches, churchgoer, churchgoers, church goer, church goers, offering, offerings, tithe, tithes, tithing, donation, donations, donate, donates, donating, offer, offers, attendance, attend, attender, attenders, attending, practicality, practical, being practical, practical nature, count, counts, counting
If Adam and Eve were Baptist.
'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'
"I've heard about the dangers of passive smoking."
"And remember, there's only one in management. The rest of us are in sales."
Tags:congregation, congregations, corporate hierarchy, corporate hierarchies, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, business ladder, business ladders, management, managements, manager, managers, priest, priests, promotion, promotions, god, supreme power, ceo, ceos, boss, bosses, vicar, vicars, minister, ministers, sermon, sermons, church goer, church goers
'What do you mean, your church didn't give you a password?'
'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'
'Just remember to get your punch lines in before they fall asleep.'
'Promise me one thing, Lorraine.. you won't tell my friends we met at a church picnic?'
Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'
'How are you, Bob? Why haven't we seen you in church lately?'
'I do wish you would stop asking for change back when they pass the plate.'
Sign above fire extinguisher case says, 'In Case of Fire and Brimstone Break Glass'.
'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'
'Very very uplifting this morning, Reverend!'
'Sid you have to show your ignorance by asking if the ten commandments were written in stone?'