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"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."
"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."
"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."
Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.
The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.
'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'
'We're gonna skip the theatrics today and get right into the Word ...'
Usher about usher with metal detector: 'He's checking for cell phones.'
Lookalike to man: 'Pastor, I came up to confess to identity theft.'
Monk to monk: 'Can you take over? I have to tinkle.'
Post at Post Office shows 'Missing Parsons'
Kid to church leader: 'Is Heaven environmentally friendly?'
Kid to pastor: 'Doesn't Jesus worry about approval ratings?'
Priest leaves movie rental store with 'Exorcise Video'
Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'
Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'
Drivers see 'Priest Crossing' sign with a priest behind it crossing himself
'I had to have my pacemaker readjusted since I asked Jesus into my heart.'