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Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'
"The actual title of my sermon, Ms. Barns, is 'Are you going to hell?'."
"This isn't the caring way to treat those who disagree with you, Pastor Bob."
"Line one, the youth group calling from up the creek without a paddle...line two, Mrs. Kavanaugh calling from down in the dumps...line three, Virgil Larrison calling from death's door..."
"A representative from headquarters to see you, sir."
"Line one, Pastor Bob. Last name, Sims. First name, Mary. Preferred name, Honey."
"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."
"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."
"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."
'Satan wants to meet you on Main Street at high noon.'
'Do you have a few minutes to discuss your retirement years, sir?'