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"You should do a sermon on the dangers of stupidity."
"Hey, man, you didn't have to mention me by name."
"To hell with you, too."
Tags:to hell with you, peace be with you, priest, priests, mass, masses, catholic, catholics, catholic church, catholic mass, catholic masses, church service, church services, mishear, mishears, mishearing, misheard, faux pas, automatic response, automatic responses, inappropriate response, inappropriate responses, profanity, profane, blasphemy, blasphemer, blasphemers
'And he said, Come unto me, for it's not what you know, but who you know.'
"I don't show up here as much as I'd like, Doctor, but I always try to catch your stuff on the air."
Tags:radio programme, radio programmes, radio program, radio programs, vicar, vicars, priest, priests, preacher, preachers, pastor, pastors, sermon, sermons, homily, homily, church service, church services, radio doctor, radio doctors, doctor, doctors, reverend, reverends, modern attitudes, excuse, excuses
"I just want to take a minute today to acknowledge all the guys out there named Bret who are too shy to correct people who think their name is Brad."
"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven
Tags:eye of a needle, priest, priests, vicar, vicars, mass, church service, church services, church, churches, empty church, empty churches, preacher, preachers, preaching, preach, sermon, sermons, sermonising, congregation, congregations, dog biscuit, dog biscuits, dog, dogs, dog lover, dog lovers, dog owner, dog owners, dog person, dog people
Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?
'We're going to start without him.'
'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'
The eulogy was beautiful, although the question-answer period was rather odd.
'I think I can speak for the Bishop, when I say...'
Church sign: 'Contains some violence and strong language'.
"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"
"So I'll have to believe it so see it?"
Tags:church, churches, church service, sermon, sermons, religion, relgions, christianity, christian, christian faith, christians, see it to believe it, believe, beliefs, believer, believers, believe it to see it, priest, priests, vicar, vicars, pastor, pastors, reversal, reversals, inversion, inversions
"Well, I thought installing a kitchen faucet without having to call the plumber was a pretty good 'praise'."
"We are gathered here today to honour those without bone spurs."
Tags:d-day, d-day commemoration, commemoration, commemorations, normandy landings, church, church service, service, mass, masses, going to mass, bone spurs, bone spur, medical exemption, trump, donald trump, president donald trump, president trump, military draft, draft, avoiding the draft, avoided the draft, draft deferments, draft deferment
Sign with directions for "Lost" and "Found"
"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."
'Once, just once, I'd like to use dribble glasses for communion. How about you?'
"Just because the preacher is from Alabama doesn't mean he's speaking in tongues."
Tags:preacher, preachers, pastor, pastors, evangelical, evangelicals, church, mass, congregation, congregations, speak in tongues, speaking in tongues, reverend, reverends, services, church service, alabama, alabama accent, alabama accents, southern accent, southern accents, hard-to-understand, difficult to understand, accent, accents, strong accent, strong accents, heavy accent, heavy accents, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes
'Do you think we may be holding our new Sunday morning services too early?'
'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'
Vespers were about to get a lot more interesting.
Man in church sees sign: Thank you for not yawning.