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"You should do a sermon on the dangers of stupidity."
"Hey, man, you didn't have to mention me by name."
"To hell with you, too."
Tags:to hell with you, peace be with you, priest, priests, mass, masses, catholic, catholics, catholic church, catholic mass, catholic masses, church service, church services, mishear, mishears, mishearing, misheard, faux pas, automatic response, automatic responses, inappropriate response, inappropriate responses, profanity, profane, blasphemy, blasphemer, blasphemers
'And he said, Come unto me, for it's not what you know, but who you know.'
"I don't show up here as much as I'd like, Doctor, but I always try to catch your stuff on the air."
Tags:radio programme, radio programmes, radio program, radio programs, vicar, vicars, priest, priests, preacher, preachers, pastor, pastors, sermon, sermons, homily, homily, church service, church services, radio doctor, radio doctors, doctor, doctors, reverend, reverends, modern attitudes, excuse, excuses
"I just want to take a minute today to acknowledge all the guys out there named Bret who are too shy to correct people who think their name is Brad."
"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven
Tags:eye of a needle, priest, priests, vicar, vicars, mass, church service, church services, church, churches, empty church, empty churches, preacher, preachers, preaching, preach, sermon, sermons, sermonising, congregation, congregations, dog biscuit, dog biscuits, dog, dogs, dog lover, dog lovers, dog owner, dog owners, dog person, dog people
Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?
'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'
The eulogy was beautiful, although the question-answer period was rather odd.
"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"
Church sign: 'Contains some violence and strong language'.
"Well, I thought installing a kitchen faucet without having to call the plumber was a pretty good 'praise'."
Sign with directions for "Lost" and "Found"
"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."
'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'
'Do you think we may be holding our new Sunday morning services too early?'
Vespers were about to get a lot more interesting.
Man in church sees sign: Thank you for not yawning.
'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'
Worship 10 A.M.
"I really liked that stuff you were saying about all of us being sinners and how we're damned for eternity."
Tags:church, churches, church service, church services, mass, masses, service, priest, priests, vicar, vicars, pastor, pastors, preacher, preachers, christianity, christian, christians, sunday service, damned, damnation, positive, positivity, bubbly personality, overly friendly, overy positive, fake praise
How To Bump Up Attendance Numbers With Free Stuff...
Tags:freebie, freebies, free gift, free gifts, special offer, special offers, church attendance, church, churches, baseball, baseball stadium, baseball stadiums, church service, church services, baseball, game, games, match, matches, attendance, palm sunday, lent, ashes, reynolds unwrapped, congregation, congregations, fan, fans
"As it says in Matthew 26-40, 'So, you had not the strength to stay awake with me ONE hour?'"
Tags:sermon, sermons, church service, church services, congregations, parishioner, parishioners, homily, church, churches, bibles, priests, ministers, bible, priest, minister, sleep, attention deficit, congregation, faith, reynolds unwrapped, bible teaching, bible teachins, bible quote, bible quotes