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'Sorry. We can't pay on your life insurance policy. You apparently didn't read our 'living dead' clause.'
Tags:insurance, insure, insured, insurance policy, insurance policies, get out clause, clause, clauses, living dead, dead, die, dying, dies, died, vampire, vampires, dracula, count dracula, pay out, paying out, pays out, payed out, life insurance, life insurance policy, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"My mom is an English teacher and she says Santa's elves are subordinate clauses."
'Don't sign any binding agreements that we can't un-bind.'
'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'
'If I wanted this done honestly and above reproach, I wouldn't need a lawyer!'
ACME INSURANCE COMPANY, 'Of course, the death benefits don't apply if it's the Government that kills you.'
"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."
Publishing Clauses Of The '90s.
Tags:publisher, publishers, contract, contracts, publishing, publishing contract, publishing contracts, contract, contracts, clause, clauses, fine print, read the fine print, author, authors, writer, writers, novelist, novelists, advance, advances, bilk, bilks, literary agent, literary agents, litigation, take advantage, takes advantage, taking advantage
"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."
Tags:user agreement, user agreements, data, data collection, data collections, privacy, data privacy, online, online privacy, internet privacy, tech, technology, legal, legal agreements, legal language, legalese, fine print, big data, small print, legal jargon, terms and conditions, contract, contracts, contract law, law, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, barrister, barristers, licenses, licensor, licensors, clause, clauses, boilerplate language, business negotiations, business negotiation, business negotiating, successors and assigns, lawsuit, lawsuits, solicitor, solicitors
'It is a standard contract - sign at the bottom. The first clause forbids you to read any of the others!'
The Despondent Clause
Tags:depressed, depression, melancholic, melancholics, mental health, mental state, mental states, mental illness, teacher, teachers, lesson, lessons, grammatical, clause, clauses, sad, melancholy, schools, class, classes, education, school, despondent, friends, overweight, unpopular, self-pity, teacher, self-esteem, classroom, classrooms
'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'
'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'
The underwriter was suspicious of all the dodgy Clauses.
The Uber Wedding Planner: 'Ok, we're almost there...we just need a clarification on the whether the 'till death do us part' clause is meant literally or figuratively.'
"I am the new ghost of Christmas yet to come."
Tags:scrooge, christmas, ebenezer, carol, carols, a christmas carol, author, charles dickens, santa claus, father christmas, saint nick, st nick, st. nick, saint nicholas, st nicholas, st. nicholas, haunting, hauntings, cheap, warning, scared, cold, night, books, novel, authors, santa, clause, future, spirit, spirits, christmas spirit, festive spirit
A trap for Santa
a new hire signing a loyalty oath
Tags:business, loyalty, oath, noncompete, clause, non-compete, nondisclosure, non-disclosure, contract, dog, job, offer, new, hire, general counsel, lawyer, attorney, hr, human resources, do, not, share, confidential, info, information, competitor, competition, sign, signing, honest, honesty, effort, follow, abide, by, businessman, man, male, professional, executive, person, manager, loyal, loyalty, dog, dogs, man's best friend
Santa playing golf.
"Now this is our standard company contract - I want you to stick in a couple of loopholes."
'I can't stand kids!'
'Red trousers and lots of suspicious packages eh? ... Think we've got our man sir! '
'Hey, I don't agree with the new clauses in this new symbiosis contract...'
'How come there's no Grandmother clauses?'
'I can't get involved with you, Donald, unless I have an exit strategy.'