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"I'm afraid this is auf Wiedersehen, Padre. Estelle and I are setting up our own little religion."
'What is this, some kind of joke?'
"So, once again, we have agreed to disagree."
'There is no 'I' in Jesus, but there is an 'Us'.'
"Sometimes I wonder if we haven't carried ecumenism a bit too far."
Tags:religion, religions, religious, christian, christians, christianity, catholic, catholics, catholicism, devil, lucifer, satan, demon, demons, evil, roman catholic, roman catholics, roman catholicism, cardinal, cardinals, clergy, clergyman, clergymen, ecumenical, ecumenicism, acceptance, accepting, council, councils, vatican, vatican council, vatican councils, denomination, denominations, non-denominational, church, churches, council chamber, council chambers, philosophy
"And the Lord said, 'They shall gradually, so as not to cause unemployment, beat their swords into plowshares.'"
Tags:defense budget, defense budgets, military budget, military budgets, budget cut, budget cuts, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, military industry, military industrial complex, military industrial complexes, unemployment, unemployment rate, unemployment rates, cut, cuts, cutting, cut costs, cuts costs, cutting costs, slash the budget, slashes the budget, slashing the budget, religious right, clergy, clergyman, clergymen, preach, preaches, preaching, bible story, bible stories
'Mr Bagley, I'm afraid there's rather more to being a bishop than having your own hat.'
"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."
Tags:religion, religious, christian, christianity, church, churches, mass, communion, holy communion, eucharist, sacrament, sacraments, wine, sacramental wine, priest, priests, clergy, clergymen, clergyman, pastor, pastors, amen, wine tasting, wine taster, wine tasters, sommelier, sommeliers, wine steward, wine stewards, wine waiter, wine waiters, fruity, earth tone, earth tones, aroma, aromas, wine connoisseur, wine connoisseurs, drink, drinks, alcohol, alcoholic, drinking
'Let's go to a bar and do something funny.'
"Lately, we've been getting a number of white males in their thirties seeking sanctuary."
'I think I can speak for the Bishop, when I say...'
"Excuse me—does this joke need a lawyer?"
Tags:joke, jokes, punchline, punch line, punch-line, cliche, cliches, stereotype, stereotype, classic, classic, standard, standard, joke theory, comedy theory, comedy, comedic value, jumper, jumped, jump, don't jump, high rise, high-rise, skyscraper, suicidal, great depression, servicemen, serviceman, service man, service men, diverse, diversity, priest, priests, pastor, pastors, clergy, clergyman, clergymen, police man, police officer, police, officer, cop, cops, fireman, firemen, fire fighter, fire fighters, lawyer, lawyers
"Looks like the source of your impure thoughts is a blown gasket in your thought purifier."
Kicking Out The Jams On A Friday Night With The Sisters Of Doo-Wop
Tags:religion, religious, religious imagery, religions, party, parties, doo wop, doo-wop, musical, musically, fun, having fun, letting your hair down, let your hair down, nun, nuns, clergy, sisters, choral, piano, pianos, free, freedom, catholicism, catholic, catholics, friday night, friday nights, women, song, songs, together, friend, friends, friendship, companion, companions, companionship
Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker
Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'
'It's very inflammed. Why don't you take a vow of silence for a few days?'
Tom's last day.
"If you had listened to me when you were twelve, you wouldn't be in this mess."
Tags:confess, confession, confessional, confession box, box, church, churches, religion, religions, catholic, catholicism, priest, priests, clergy, clergyman, pastor, pastors, listen, listens, listening skills, crimes, criminal, court, courts, court room, courtroom, law, lawyer, court of law, lawyers, attorney, defense attorney, prosecute, prosecutor, prosecution, children, child, kid, kids, lessons, life lessons
"Look, Sister! We pray hard...and we play hard!!"
'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'
When Clergymen have those 'round the water cooler' conversations.
Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.
Tags:priest, priests, priesthood, preacher, preachers, clergy, catholic, catholicism, catholics, methodist, methodists, methodism, presbyterianism, presbyterian, presbyterians, anglican, anglicans, anglicanism, lutheran, lutherans, lutheranism, clergymen, clergyman, communion, the eucharist, confession, confessions, confessional, guilt, guilty, glutton, gluttony, confess, weight, overweight, weight issues, loosing weight, diet, dieting, diets, overeating, overeater, binge eating, bishop, bishops, episcopal, episcopalian, religion, religions, religious leaders, religious leader, lent
"It's a Popemobile."
Tags:religion, religious, christianity, catholicism, roman catholicism, christian, christians, catholic, catholics, clergy, clergyman, clergymen, cardinal, cardinals, pope, popes, popemobile, vatican, rome, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, valet parking, valet, valets, parking attendant, parking attendants, parking
"Patrick Donovan! It was ten Hail Mary's I was sayin'...not bloody mary's!"