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'When you work from home, the office parties are rubbish.'
"I'd never go out with him, but he does give great cubicle."
Tags:relationship, relationships, date, dates, dating, coworker, coworkers, co-worker, co-workers, colleague, colleagues, work together, works together, working together, cubicle, cubicles, office space, office spaces, office, offices, pros and cons, friend zone, friend zones, romantic interest, chat, chats, chatting, gossip, gossips, gossiping
"What the hell? We could use an idiot."
Tags:idiot, idiots, hiring, hire, hires, hired, new guy, new guys, diversity, workplace diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, positive discrimination, moron, morons, unqualified, incompetent, incompetence, application, applications, interview, interviews, interviewing, job interview, job interviews, worker, workers, working, colleague, colleagues, co-worker, co-workers
'Sorry Trevor, but I don't date people I work with.'
"Oh wow, Countdown to End Times calendar, no, Dean, I don't already have one. Um, Happy New Year to you too."
Tags:calendar, calendars, present, presents, gift, gilfs, bad present, bad presents, bad gift, bad gifts, co-worker, co-workers, colleague, colleagues, weird colleague, weird colleagues, new year, happy new year, new years gift, end times, end of the world, doomsday, doomsdayer, doomsdayers, apocalypse
"I don't know if I have leadership skills. I telecommute."
'Attention, everyone. Our CEO will be touring the department in ten minutes. Please take the 'Change is Good' placards out of your lower desk drawers, dust them off, and hang them in a prominent place. Thank you!'
"It's not you, Rob. It's just that things are moving a little too fast."
Tags:business relationship, business relationships, co-worker, co-workers, coworker, coworkers, affair, affairs, colleague, colleagues, workaholic, workaholics, work-obsessed, work obsession, briefcase, briefcases, suit, suits, business suit, business suits, date, dates, dating, single, single life, move too fast, moves too fast, moving too fast, fear of commitment, commitment, executive, executives
For 43 years, Hank had successfully stuffed every feeling he'd ever had, until,of course, the morning when Fred asked if he could borrow a paper clip.
'Welcome aboard, Peterson. I understand we're going to be working together!'
"I'm going across the street for a sandwich and coffee. Can I get you something?"
Tags:sandwich, sandwiches, coffee, coffees, lunch, lunches, lunch break, lunch breaks, order, orders, ordering, co-worker, co-workers, colleague, colleagues, option, options, dine, dines, dining, eat out, eats out, eating out, fancy restaurant, inedible, inedible food, hipster, hipsters, fine dining, cuisine, preference, preferences, simple food, simple foods, comfort food, comfort foods
"When did you get back from sabbatical?"
Tags:sabbatical, sabbaticals, unpaid leave, paid leave, gap year, gap years, midlife crisis, midlife crises, field trip, field trips, paid sabbatical, unpaid sabbatical, holiday, holidays, vacation, vacations, vacationing, colleague, colleagues, coworker, coworkers, co-worker, co-workers, tribe, tribes, anthropologist, anthropologists, anthropology
"I say, if at first you don't succeed, redefine success."
Tags:offices, office worker, office workers, co worker, co-worker, co workers, co-workers, business man, business men, business person, business people, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, office cubicle, office cubicles, unsuccessful, success, redefine, re-define, re-defining, redefining, succeed, succeeding, moving the goal posts, move to goal posts, if at first you dont succeed, if at first you don't succeed, cheat, lazy, laziness
"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."
"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."
Tags:fashion icon, fashion icons, trendsetter, trendsetters, trend setter, trend setters, trend-setter, trend-setters, trend-setting, hairstyle, hairstyles, eccentric, eccentricity, eccentricities, eccentrics, rival, rivals, competitive, competitiveness, office politics, colleague, colleagues, coworker, coworkers, co-worker, co-workers
"That's amazing - I was just thinking the same thing."
"You always get the good gossip out here around the vodka cooler."
Tags:vodka, vodkas, water cooler, watercooler, watercoolers, water coolers, water-cooler, water-coolers, gossip, gossips, gossiping, gossiper, gossipers, gossiped, office politics, corporate culture, office job, office jobs, office worker, office workers, colleague, colleagues, coworker, coworkers, co-worker, co-workers, rumour mill, rumor mill, rumour mills, rumor mills, drunk, drunks, drunkard, drunkards
"My child's school is having an auction, so can your entire life come to a halt?"
Tags:school, schools, auction, auctions, fundraiser, fundraisers, fundraising, unrealistic, expectation, expectations, self-interest, self-interested, selfish, parent, parents, modern parent, modern parents, parenting, annoyance, annoyances, annoying, nuisance, nuisances, co-worker, co-workers, colleague, colleagues, entitled, entitlement complex, imposition, impositions, impose, imposing
'The new guy is great for morale, but he's clueless about the dress code.'
'And when all else fails...'
"Or maybe you're at the office and you discover that somebody has been using the copy machine for personal purposes."
Tags:handgun, handguns, office job, office jobs, office worker, office workers, desk job, desk jobs, colleague, colleagues, coworker, coworkers, co-worker, co-workers, photocopier, photocopiers, photocopy machine, photocopy machines, copier machine, copier machines, copy machine, copy machines, personal use, personal usage, gun crime, gun crimes, killing spree, killing sprees, murder spree, murder sprees, gun shop, gun shops, gun store, gun stores, gun permit, gun permits, gun license, gun licenses, gun licence, gun licences
"Oh, I see you're busy, so I'll keep talking."
'That's great, Bob, but I was just going to ask if you wanted anything from the deli next door.'
'When Consumer Reports rated it 'The speaker-phone most likely to annoy your co-workers,' I knew I HAD to have it!'
"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."
Tags:open floor plan, open floor plans, office layout, office layouts, office design, office designs, interior designer, interior designers, working environment, work environment, work environments, stressful job, stressful jobs, hysteria, hysterical, hysterias, colleague, colleagues, coworker, coworkers, co-worker, co-workers