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An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.
Tags:flight, flights, cockpit, cockpits, pilot, pilots, engineer, engineers, engine drive, engine drivers, train driver, train drivers, train, trains, conductor, conductors, captain, captains, plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, ominous, worry, worries, fear, fears
"Is that bubble wrap? I love bubble wrap."
Tags:bubble wrap, bubble wrapping, packaging, packaging supplies, thumb, thumbs, alien, aliens, extra-terrestrials, extra-terrestrial, space ship, space ships, cockpit, cockpits, exploration, explore, space exploration, space, space travel, moon, moons, planet, planets, discovery, discoveries, excitement, excite, popping bubblewrap, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrials
"Excuse me, but I think you're in my seat."
Tags:airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, air travel, flight, flights, flying, passenger, passengers, tourist, tourists, tourism, travel, travelling, traveller, travellers, traveling, traveler, travelers, pilot, pilots, airline, airlines, seat, seats, window seat, window seats, you're in my seat, cockpit, cockpits, wrong seat, wrong seats
'Dozens of gauges and knobs, but not one cigarette lighter to plug in my heated travel mug.'
Tags:airplane, airplanes, pilot, pilots, fly, flying, flies, flied, control, controls, controlling, controlled, cockpit, cockpits, travel mug, mug, mugs, plug in, cigarette lighter, cigarette lighters, travel plug, travel plugs, electronic, electronics, heated mug, heated mugs, heated, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Letter reads: OK, we'll be good. Can we come out?
'This will be interesting, let's show them who's the chicken here.'
'Are we there yet?'
'What on earth are you doing? Watch your flaps! Increase altitude ... ' Back Seat Pilots: another reason to make cockpits inaccessible to passengers.
"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."
Tags:airplane, airplanes, paper plane, paper planes, paper airplane, paper airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane travel, pilot, pilots, takeoff, taking off, rough takeoff, rough takeoffs, turbulent, turbulence, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, airport, airports, announcement, announcements, cockpit, cockpits
"Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."
Tags:plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, pilot, pilots, commercial airline, commercial airlines, air travel, plane travel, announcement, announcements, loudspeaker, loudspeakers, loud speak, loud speakers, lazy, laziness, boring, plane announcement, plane announcements, passenger announcement, passenger announcements, cockpit, cockpits, inane, apathy, apathetic, disinterest, disinterested
"Height and position? I'm six foot tall and in the pilot's seat."
'We have a problem, Bob! All the passengers back there are on the wrong plane. Even the attendants are on the wrong plane. Hey, wait - you're not Bob.'
'This is the pilot. If you look to the left you'll see London, look to the right France - inside the cockpit the co-pilot's underpants.'
Airplane cockpit has a paper aeroplane in it.
View of a cockpit with a hanging peanut scented air freshener.
"No, thanks, I'll just grab one from the cockpit minibar."
Tags:cockpit, cockpits, pilot, pilots, minibar, minibars, mini bar, mini bars, mini-bar, mini-bars, drunk, drunks, copilot, copilots, captain, air travel, drink driver, drink drivers, drink driving, drunk driving, drunk driver, drunk drivers, aeroplane, aeroplanes, airplane, airplanes, health and safety, health & safety
Pilot pushes wrong button and a Jack in the Box jumps out.
'I'm sorry, but these seats are taken!'
'As a shareholder I'd like a go at flying the plane.'
'I guess we're flying by instruments.'
'It's his mother. They're inseparable.'
'Captain, I see another plane at 10:22.'
Plane windscreen cleaner
"I`m not convinced that the altitude meter is functioning correctly."
"Welcome aboard, folks. Little Lieutenant Mack and I have everything under control this morning."