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"Guess you were right, chief--I just needed to be burped."
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"My son is a millennial—I should just go to jail for him."
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"The tiny winged beings, Sire, are called gnats."
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"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."
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"Mother, I get enough pressure from my peer group without getting it from you."
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The Abominable Snowmom
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Dunce stool at school with safe space on cap.
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"Stop coding the dog, Fred! He should have to bury his bones himself!"
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'My children have never been mollycoddled. A couple of them have been coddled, but not mollycoddled.'
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'The inmates are complaining their swimming pool is dirty? Do they think we coddle our prisoners here?!'
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'Well, technically, he's left the nest: He just happens to live next door...'
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