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"I'll be blunt. You don't have much time. In three days I'm turning this over to a collection agency."
'Your account is overdue so the doctor is sending you to a specialist...our collection agency.'
'Good news. Your blood pressure has dropped after my collection agency stopped sending you threatening messages.'
"Great news! All of those bill collectors stopped hounding me - the hacker who stole my identity is being hounded by them now."
'I'm on the national no-call list so why am I receiving this call from your collection agency?'
"I happen to work for a collection agency. How would you like to work for me?"
'Could you call me back later? I'm in a meeting with a representative of the acme collection agency.'
"Sure they're the frienly loan company. But they have an arrangement with the unfriendly collection agency."
"A collection agency is threatening air strikes."
"Someone forgot to pay this bill so they're repossessing our furniture."
'Honey, someone from the collection agency is here to talk with you.'
'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'
Milestone in a college student's life: 'Hey! I just got my first collection agency letter, dunning me for my credit card debt!'
'Paper or Plastic?'
"Your tax return was addressed to the 'Infernal Revenue Service'. Do you know the penalty for a frivolous return?"
"The mug photo and fingerprints are for our collection agency."
"Hold on, he just paid up. I didn't even know we accepted PayPal."