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'This is the Suicide Hot-Line... please hold.'
'He's not out on the ledge... I will assume your three-thirty is cancelled.'
'How can a man jump out of a window if the damned window can't be opened!'
'Wow, now there's a talented mime artist; he really looks like he's falling.'
'Looks like the coffee machine is out of order again.'
'I don't know why she jumped. She was always so full of life.'
Irony seems to have got the better of him.