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'Implementing these changes won't be easy. We're pretty set in doing things the wrong way.'
'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'
OK, we've defined the project objectives. Now it's time to establish the stakeholders.
"I always cry at mergers."
Tags:business, businesses, company, companies, corporation, corporations, employee, employees, worker, workers, businessman, businessmen, businesswoman, businesswomen, consolidation, consolidations, merger, mergers, cry, crying, wedding, weddings, union, unions, ceremony, ceremonies, emotional, office, offices, office life
'Not everyone is able to cope with change.'
"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."
Tags:business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, meeting, meetings, boardroom, boardrooms, company, companies, corporation, corporations, corporate, holiday, holidays, appropriate, war on christmas, political correctness, politically correct, greeting, greetings, seasons greetings, holiday greetings, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, legal department, legal, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, card, cards, greeting card, greeting cards, christmas card, christmas cards, unoffensive, modern life
'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'
Company Creamer Turned Sour: 'I hope the account director likes his coffee chunky-style. Or maybe I should hold out for the son of the CEO.'
"No, I'm not backing up our files–I'm just assuming that the F.B.I. is making copies."
Tags:computer, computers, file, files, computer file, computer files, save, back-up, back-ups, back up, back ups, backup, backups, backing up, document, documents, copy, copies, business, businessman, businessmen, corporate, executive, executives, criminal, criminals, corporation, corporations, company, companies, database, databases, data, fbi, federal bureau of investigations, f.b.i., feds, federal government, nsa, national security agency, n.s.a., security, privacy, intelligence agency, intelligence agencies, spy, spying, spies, invasion of privacy, internet privacy, computer privacy, internet security, technology, surveillance, under surveillance, shady, suspect, suspicious
"We do not take three-hour lunches in this company, Swanson."
'When we talked about changing the firms image I was thinking more about a new letterhead.'
'We reorganized so many times we are now one of our own subsidiaries.'
"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."
Tags:lunch, lunch break, hungry, hunger, executive, executives, meeting, meetings, raise your hand, question, questions, boss, bosses, food, foods, snack, snacks, coworker, coworkers, irrelevant, business, businesses, business meeting, businessman, businessmen, office, offices, manager, managers, management, white collar, businesswoman, businesswomen, corporate, corporation, company, companies
"Still, I think we can all take some pride in being one of the signature bankruptcies of our time."
Tags:bankrupt, bankruptcy, bankruptcies, ceo, ceos, c.e.o., c.e.o.s, go bankrupt, goes bankrupt, going bankrupt, company, companies, corporation, corporations, corporate, corporate control, corporate controller, chief executive, chief executives, incompetent, incompetence, qualification, qualifications, achievement, achievements, achieving, pride, proud, job well done, jobs well done, take pride, takes pride, taking pride, executive, executives, higher up, higher ups, stockholder meeting, stockholder meetings, stockholder, stockholders, too big to fail, bank, banks, banking, banker, bankers, big bank, big banks, corporate hierarchy, corporate ladder
"If the limited partners knew how we did this, they'd never give us the money."
Tags:limited partners, limited partnership, limited partner, lp, company, partners, investor, investors, money, job, jobs, company structure, company structures, silent partner, silent partners, silent investor, silent investors, fraud, fraudulent, frauds, take the mickey out of, fraudulent company, fraudulent organisation, fraudulent organisations, fraudulent companies, immoral, unethical, unprofessional, lying, lie, lies, liars, deceive, deceiving, cheat, cheaters
'...the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'
'You call that an organization chart, Foley? It looks just like the NCAA college basketball brackets.'
'When you asked if I'd 'like a little company' I didn't expect you to start trying to sell me your dry-cleaning business!'
'Wasn't it about the time you came on board that I turned the company around?'
"Do you, Scofield Industries, take Amalgamated Pipe?"
Tags:merger, mergers, business men, business man, business person, business people, business woman, business women, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, businesswomen, businesswoman, weddings, wedding, wedding vow, wedding vows, getting married, vow, vows, business merger, business mergers, company, companies, corporation, corporations, acquisition, acquisitions, modern life, capitalism
National Paradox Foundation: We're closed come in.
"Let's all rise for the corporate anthem."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, business meeting, business meetings, corporate, corporation, corporations, company, companies, office, offices, office life, anthem, anthems, national anthem, national anthems, theme song, theme songs, respect, respectful, patriotism, loyalty, patriotic, company loyalty, corporate loyalty
Behind Closed Doors.
'We would like to offer your company the opportunity to become one of our biggest customers.'