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"How are her scores?"
Tags:score, scores, test score, test scores, compare, compares, comparing, comparison, comparisons, parent, parents, parenting, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, pride, proud, toddler, toddlers, competitive, competition, competitions, stroller, strollers, start young, starts young, starting young, kid, kids, young age, overbearing
"A phony attorney…I'm so disappointed, son. Your brother is a phony doctor."
Tags:phony, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, nag, nags, nagging, jewish mother, mom, mom, mother, mothers, parent, parents, disappointment, disappointments, passive aggressive, passive-aggressiveness, fake, fakes, faking, faker, fakers, brother, brothers, ne'er do well, compare, compares, comparison, success, successful, con man, con men, con artist, con artists, con, cons, confidence man, confidence men, expectations, high expectations
Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News
Tags:alum, alums, alumni, alumnae, chance encounter, chance encounters, old friend, old friends, college friend, college friends, art school, art schools, visual arts, visual arts major, visual arts majors, faux pas, cringe, cringes, cringing, awkward, awkward scenario, awkward scenarios, awkward scene, awkward scenes, copywriter, copywriters, writing copy, copy, advertising agency, advertising agencies, career, careers, success, successes, successful, compare, compares, comparing, comparison, comparisons, waitress, waitresses, fail, fails, failing, failure, failures
"It's bee fifty years. I guess you really can't compare apples to oranges."
"O.K., Everybody. Stand back! Let it breathe."
Tags:wine, wines, connoisseur, connoisseurs, sommelier, sommeliers, waiter, waiters, server, servers, breathe, let it breathe, glass, glasses, resuscitate, resuscitates, resuscitating, cpr, cardiopulmonary resuscitation, drinking, drinks, drink, alcohol, restaurant, restaurants, wine glass, compare, comparison, overreaction, overreact, overreacts
'I have nothing against the old standard. But I get more laughs with the bolo tie.'
"Kids! No watching Bobby Flay before Mommy cooks dinner!"
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, cooking, homecooking, home cooking, cook, cooks, chef, chefs, famous chef, famous chefs, food, dinner, dinners, dinnertime, mealtime, meal, meals, bad cook, bad cooks, bad at cooking, compare, comparison, comparisons, comparing, television, televisions, television show, television shows, television program, television programs, television programmes, television programmes, tv, tvs, tv show, tv shows, tv program, tv programs, tv programmes, tv programmes, t.v., t.v.s, t.v. show, t.v. shows, t.v. program, t.v. programs, t.v. programme, t.v. programmes, watching t.v., watching tv, watching television
Compare Things To Hitler
Tags:hitler, adolf hitler, nazi germany, compare, comparison, consumerism, consumerist, political correctness, politically correct, politically incorrect, political incorrectness, exploit, exploitative, exploitation, opportunistic, opportunism, profiteering, profiteer, history teacher, history teachers, second world war, wwii, ww2, world war 2, world war two, attraction, tourist attraction, historical figures, historical villians
"Maybe I should run on the beach."
Tags:pigeon, pigeons, weight loss, lose weight, loses weight, losing weight, sandpiper, sandpipers, sand piper, sand pipers, waterfowl, beach, beaches, beach body, beach bodies, run, runs, running, runner, runners, compare, comparison, comparisons, body shame, body shames, body shaming, exercise, exercises, exercising, fat, fatness, overweight, obese, obesity, skinny, skinniness
Office Pool of Paperwork.
Tags:paperwork, paper, papers, letter, letters, drown, drowning, pool, pools, lifeguard, lifeguards, life guard, life guards, swim, swimming, paper work, job, jobs, job ladder, career ladder, swimming pool, swimming pools, cubicle, cubicles, offices, employees, worker, employee, workers, employees, comparison, compare
"Now we just have to sit back and wait for the Fed to bail us out."
Tags:bailout, bailouts, emergency economic stabilization act, emergency economic stabilization act of 2008, financial crisis, financial crises, monetary policy, monetary, irresponsible, responsibility, moral hazard, moral hazards, bank, banks, banker, bankers, children, child, kid, kids, federal reserve, ben bernanke, bernanke, troubled asset relief program, tarp, childish, comparison, compared, compare, 2008, credit crunch, credit crunches, rescue, rescues, rescue package, bush, george, george w bush, george bush
With and without a starter.
Tags:run, runs, running, runner, runners, start, starts, starting, started, starter, starters, compare, compares, comparing, comparison, comparisons, race, races, racing, racer, racers, athlete, athletes, athletics, starting gun, starting guns, gone, uncontrolled, controlled, controlling, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'You think you've got a bad knee? Let me tell you about a bad knee, my brother.'
Tags:basketball, basketballs, basketballer, basketballers, knee injury, knee injuries, injure, injures, injury, injuries, injured, injuring, compare, compares, comparison, comparisons, complain, complains, complaining, complainer, complainers, complaint, complaints, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
Apples and oranges
"Big deal, an A in math. That would be a D in any other country."
Tags:education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, teacher, teachers, student, students, classroom, classrooms, class, classes, mark, marks, grade, grades, report card, report cards, report, reports, math, maths, mathematics, test, tests, testing, academic, academics, academic standing, academics standings, international, foreign, comparison, comparisons, compare, comparing, rank, ranks, ranking, score, scores, elementary, primary, intelligence, standard, standards, curriculum, curricula, united states, us, u.s., united states of america, usa, u.s.a., america, american, country, countries, modern life
A man reads the obituary and compares his age to the deceased.
Tags:age, obit, obits, obituary, obituaries, dead, dying, die, dies, mortality, mortal, mortals, long life, long lives, short life, short lives, compare, compares, feel your age, feeling your age, ageing, aging, grow old, grows old, growing old, comparison, comparisons, insecure, insecurity, insecurities
'Sir, I suggest we analyze our current cash flow situation in light of the obvious thematic parallels it has with several classic short stories!'
'When you're a kid, you keep score with report cards. When you grow up, it's credit scores.'
"Well, now that we've established that we're all wearing Tommy Hilfiger underwear, can we proceed to the substance of the meeting?"
Tags:designer, designers, designer label, designer labels, fashion designer, fashion designers, pissing contest, pissing contests, underwear, underpants, compare, compares, comparing, comparison, comparisons, divert, diverts, diverting, diversion, diversions, boardroom, boardrooms, board room, board rooms, meeting, meetings, business meeting, business meetings, drop your pants, drop your trousers, business culture, corporate culture
'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'
"Some of us are unsung heroes."
Tags:hero, heroes, heroic, unsung hero, unsung heroes, superhero, superheroes, superheroic, converse, conversing, converses, compare, compares, comparison, comparisons, unfavorable comparison, unfavorable comparisons, contrast, contrasts, contrasting, out-of-favor, out-of-favour, threatened, threatening, accomplishment, accomplishments
Pants...Before & After
"You know I hate when you check your messages at the table."
Tags:phone, phones, phoning, phoned, cell, cells, cellphone, cellphones, mobile, mobiles, smartphone, smartphones, messages, message, text, texts, pigeon, pigeons, check, checking, carrier pigeons, homing pigeons, homing pigeons, rude, rudeness, comparison, compare, olden days, messaged, manner, manners, absurd
Snow White and Sleeping Beauty Have Tea
Tags:gossip, gossips, gossiping, sleeping beauty, snow white, compare, compares, comparing, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairytale, fairytales, legend, legends, compare notes, comparing notes, comparison, comparisons, comparing, out of body experience, out of body experiences, experience, experiences, gossip, gossips, gossiping