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"Held up at work? You could have called."
Tags:alcohol, alcoholic, drinking, drinks, drink, bartender, bartenders, office, offices, working, works, work late, held up, late, lateness, tardy, tardiness, call ahead, calling, calls, loyal, loyalty, allegiance, faithful, relationship, relationships, bartending, pub, bar, bars, pubs, annoyed, warning, warns, comparison, compared, comparing, parody
Elevator rolling TV picture.
"Of course, it helped that my father was also a king."
Tags:royal, royals, hereditary, inherit, inherits, achievement, achievements, crown, crowns, help, helped, helping, parent, parents, monarch, monarchs, proud, pride, class, classes, upper-class, kingdom, kingdoms, royalty, monarchy, monarchies, history, comparison, comparing, compared, modern, social mobility, social-mobility
'I have nothing against the old standard. But I get more laughs with the bolo tie.'
"Now we just have to sit back and wait for the Fed to bail us out."
Tags:bailout, bailouts, emergency economic stabilization act, emergency economic stabilization act of 2008, financial crisis, financial crises, monetary policy, monetary, irresponsible, responsibility, moral hazard, moral hazards, bank, banks, banker, bankers, children, child, kid, kids, federal reserve, ben bernanke, bernanke, troubled asset relief program, tarp, childish, comparison, compared, compare, 2008, credit crunch, credit crunches, rescue, rescues, rescue package, bush, george, george w bush, george bush
"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"
'Sir, I suggest we analyze our current cash flow situation in light of the obvious thematic parallels it has with several classic short stories!'
'When you're a kid, you keep score with report cards. When you grow up, it's credit scores.'
"Let's look at projected earnings for the next quarter."
Tags:business, businesses, board, boards, director, directors, executive, executives, plan, planning, plans, businessmen, business people, earning, earnings, accounting, accountancy, money, cavemen, caveman, cave painting, cave paintings, primitive, primitives, hunter gatherer, hunter gatherers, hunter-gatherer, hunter-gatherers, hunting, prehistory, prehistoric, comparison, compared, comparing, time
"Remember, they're just as afraid of you as you are of standing up to your mother."
Tags:bear, bears, couple, couples, grizzly, grizzlies, grizzly bear, brown bear, black bear, in law, mother bear, momma bear, in-law, in laws, in-laws, hide, hiding, picnic, picnic basket, couple, couples, married life, marriage, wife, wives, fear, afraid, similarity, similarities, compare, compared, comparison, comparisons, wildlife, wild animal, predator, predators, couple, couples
Amazingly, in some parts of the world drinking water is transported for dozens of kilometres... while in others it's thousands.
"Rescue be damned! Our conservative principles will see us through."
Tags:desert, deserts, conservative, conservatives, republican, republicans, desperate, desperation, refusal, refusing, politics, political, right, right wing, principle, principles, conservative principles, conservative principle, trump, donald trump, gop, grand old party, heat, sun, lost, thirsty, despairing, misguided, wrong, parallel, comparison, compared
'His is bigger.'
Tags:baby, babies, child, kid, kids, pram, prams, toy, toys, toy dinosaur, toy dinosaurs, size, sizes, comparison, compare, compares, compared, comparing, size comparison, jealous, jealousy, envy, barney, purple dinosaur, bigger, big, better, want, wants, wanting, wanted, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Tags:sweatband, sweatbands, tennis, player, players, compare, compares, comparing, compared, comparison, comparisons, slip, slips, slipping, slipped, slippery, difference, differ, differs, differences, sweat band, sweat bands, racket, rackets, stretch, stretches, stretching, stretched, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
Miracles of modern sports medicine: the Nerdectomy.
Tags:run, runs, running, runner, runners, ran, improve, improves, improving, improvement, improvements, improved, compare, compares, compared, comparison, comparisons, nerdectomy, nerdectomies, sports medicine, sports medicines, miracle, miracles, miraculous, fast, faster, quick, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'...and it has much less cholesterol than beef.'
'I feel like a deer in the headlights.'
'King Henry is drunk with power! You're just drunk!'
'You do outstanding work, Nelson, but I'm afraid Higby makes me look better.'
'Were a lot smarter - You could never get eight cats to pull a sled in the snow.'
The developing world's carbon footprint, compared to the developed world's carbon tire tracks.
'I'm far superior. Remember, you only live once.'
'My lawyer can beat up your lawyer.'
''My mother does it this way,' he says. 'My mother does it that way,' he says. Doc why doesn't he know he shouldn't compare the two of us?'
'Wait a second - you like worms? You oughta try spaghetti - worms taste awful compared to spaghetti!'