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"A phony attorney…I'm so disappointed, son. Your brother is a phony doctor."
Tags:phony, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, nag, nags, nagging, jewish mother, mom, mom, mother, mothers, parent, parents, disappointment, disappointments, passive aggressive, passive-aggressiveness, fake, fakes, faking, faker, fakers, brother, brothers, ne'er do well, compare, compares, comparison, success, successful, con man, con men, con artist, con artists, con, cons, confidence man, confidence men, expectations, high expectations
"How are her scores?"
Tags:score, scores, test score, test scores, compare, compares, comparing, comparison, comparisons, parent, parents, parenting, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, pride, proud, toddler, toddlers, competitive, competition, competitions, stroller, strollers, start young, starts young, starting young, kid, kids, young age, overbearing
Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News
Tags:alum, alums, alumni, alumnae, chance encounter, chance encounters, old friend, old friends, college friend, college friends, art school, art schools, visual arts, visual arts major, visual arts majors, faux pas, cringe, cringes, cringing, awkward, awkward scenario, awkward scenarios, awkward scene, awkward scenes, copywriter, copywriters, writing copy, copy, advertising agency, advertising agencies, career, careers, success, successes, successful, compare, compares, comparing, comparison, comparisons, waitress, waitresses, fail, fails, failing, failure, failures
"No, writing my book wasn't anything like giving birth. Why would you say such a stupid thing?"
"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"
Tags:beauty treatment, beauty treatments, beauty spa, beauty spas, spa treatment, spa treatments, spa, spas, hairstyle, hairstyles, hairstylist, hairstylists, hairdresser, hairdressers, ugly, ugliness, self-esteem, self esteem, self-confidence, self confidence, low self-esteem, comparison, comparisons, beauty standard, beauty standards, standards of beauty, unflattering comparison, unflattering comparisons
"We worked hard, damn hard- but we knew when to stop. We were not workaholic."
"Held up at work? You could have called."
Tags:alcohol, alcoholic, drinking, drinks, drink, bartender, bartenders, office, offices, working, works, work late, held up, late, lateness, tardy, tardiness, call ahead, calling, calls, loyal, loyalty, allegiance, faithful, relationship, relationships, bartending, pub, bar, bars, pubs, annoyed, warning, warns, comparison, compared, comparing, parody
"It's bee fifty years. I guess you really can't compare apples to oranges."
The Greeting Card and the Business Letter
Tags:post, posting, mail, mailing, mailman, mailmen, postman, postmen, mail carrier, mail carriers, postal worker, postal workers, send, sending, greeting card, greeting cards, card, cards, business, letter, letters, immature, childish, happy, unhappy, grumpy, grouchy, good mood, bad mood, juxtaposition, comparison, comparisons, contrast, contrasting, age, ages, grow up, grown-up, child, children, kid, kids, adults
"Of course, it helped that my father was also a king."
Tags:royal, royals, hereditary, inherit, inherits, achievement, achievements, crown, crowns, help, helped, helping, parent, parents, monarch, monarchs, proud, pride, class, classes, upper-class, kingdom, kingdoms, royalty, monarchy, monarchies, history, comparison, comparing, compared, modern, social mobility, social-mobility
Elevator rolling TV picture.
"I can't believe their flag isn't even wearing a flag pin."
Tags:neighbor, neighbors, neighborhood, neighborhoods, neighbour, neighbours, neighbourhood, neighbourhoods, patriotic, patriots, patriotism, keeping up with the joneses, idiom, idioms, socioeconomic, culture, cultural, inferior, inferiority, superior, superiority, suburbs, suburbia, flag, flags, comparing, comparison, pride, proud
"Their rut looks like a lot more fun than our rut."
Tags:rut, ruts, middle age, middle aged, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, mid life crisis, let down, let downs, comparison, comparisons, escalator, escalators, self comparison, self comparisons, rat race, the rat race, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers, desk job, desk jobs
Apples and Oranges Shoot-Out
Tags:shoot out, shoot outs, shoot-out, shoot-outs, stand off, stand offs, stand-off, stand-offs, duel, duels, fight, fights, cowboy, cowboys, western, westerns, apple and orange, apples and oranges, differences, settling differences, idiom, idioms, saying, sayings, comparison, comparison, fruit, fruits
"O.K., Everybody. Stand back! Let it breathe."
Tags:wine, wines, connoisseur, connoisseurs, sommelier, sommeliers, waiter, waiters, server, servers, breathe, let it breathe, glass, glasses, resuscitate, resuscitates, resuscitating, cpr, cardiopulmonary resuscitation, drinking, drinks, drink, alcohol, restaurant, restaurants, wine glass, compare, comparison, overreaction, overreact, overreacts
"Simple stone tool."
Tags:surgery, surgeon, doctor, doctors, simple, primitive, primitives, caveman, cavemen, neolithic, stone age, stone ages, operation, operations, ineffective, medicine, blunt, inefficient, ineffectual, comparison, similar, similarity, modern, prehistoric, primeval, ancient, history, prehistory, historical, prehistorical, operating table, medicine, medical
'I have nothing against the old standard. But I get more laughs with the bolo tie.'
"Kids! No watching Bobby Flay before Mommy cooks dinner!"
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, cooking, homecooking, home cooking, cook, cooks, chef, chefs, famous chef, famous chefs, food, dinner, dinners, dinnertime, mealtime, meal, meals, bad cook, bad cooks, bad at cooking, compare, comparison, comparisons, comparing, television, televisions, television show, television shows, television program, television programs, television programmes, television programmes, tv, tvs, tv show, tv shows, tv program, tv programs, tv programmes, tv programmes, t.v., t.v.s, t.v. show, t.v. shows, t.v. program, t.v. programs, t.v. programme, t.v. programmes, watching t.v., watching tv, watching television
Compare Things To Hitler
Tags:adolf hitler, nazi germany, compare, comparison, consumerism, consumerist, political correctness, politically correct, politically incorrect, political incorrectness, exploit, exploitative, exploitation, opportunistic, opportunism, profiteering, profiteer, history teacher, history teachers, second world war, wwii, ww2, world war 2, world war two, attraction, tourist attraction, historical figures, historical villians
"Maybe I should run on the beach."
Tags:pigeon, pigeons, weight loss, lose weight, loses weight, losing weight, sandpiper, sandpipers, sand piper, sand pipers, waterfowl, beach, beaches, beach body, beach bodies, run, runs, running, runner, runners, compare, comparison, comparisons, body shame, body shames, body shaming, exercise, exercises, exercising, fat, fatness, overweight, obese, obesity, skinny, skinniness
"I've been in the private sector and I've been in the public sector, and rich is better."
"To be honest, I inherited this mess."
Tags:george washington, washington, founding father, founding fathers, president, presidents, i cannot tell a lie, politician, politicians, modern, blame, blame game, i did cut it with my hatchet, cherry tree, tree, comparison, comparing, inherited, george, trees, hatchet, hatchets, axe, angry, annoyed, annoy
Office Pool of Paperwork.
Tags:paperwork, paper, papers, letter, letters, drown, drowning, pool, pools, lifeguard, lifeguards, life guard, life guards, swim, swimming, paper work, job, jobs, job ladder, career ladder, swimming pool, swimming pools, cubicle, cubicles, offices, employees, worker, employee, workers, employees, comparison, compare
"Now we just have to sit back and wait for the Fed to bail us out."
Tags:bailout, bailouts, emergency economic stabilization act, emergency economic stabilization act of 2008, financial crisis, financial crises, monetary policy, monetary, irresponsible, responsibility, moral hazard, moral hazards, bank, banks, banker, bankers, children, child, kid, kids, federal reserve, ben bernanke, bernanke, troubled asset relief program, tarp, childish, comparison, compared, compare, 2008, credit crunch, credit crunches, rescue, rescues, rescue package, bush, george, george w bush, george bush