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'Congratulations! You have been chosen...'
Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.
'Congratulations, Mr. Gimler! You're our patient of the year!'
'I just won an all expenses paid trip to a tropical island in the South Pacific.'
Bubble gum contest winner floating away.
'Thank you. It took me a long time, but I built it to scale.'
"...You've won a 5-day's trip to Copacabana Beach...!"
"Hi there. I'm the leatherbound personal organiser you won in the mock the monarch contest."
'You'll never win that contest -- you've never said anything in fifty words or less.'
Congratulations - you have won last prize in our ?1000,000 draw. Please accept this rusty can with our compliments.
'You may already be a winner!'
"Oh no! We've lost a competition and now some old, forgotten pop singer from the eighties is going to perform in our living room!"