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Have you tried turning it off and on again?
'It appears to be a hacker's virus.'
'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'
A watershed event in the life of a computer geek: Hearing the Call of the Information Highway.
'These are the data security consultants we hired last week. When it comes to firewall design, they're in a class by themselves!'
'Freeze, Higgins, and don't make a sound! It's a blinking curson arrow, in the 'delete' mode. One nick from that, my friend, and we're dead men!'
Hack in to your computer $5
'No, it's no mistake, Martini. I want you to download the entire internet for me.'
'In simple terms, it's your hard drive.'
'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'
'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my computer equipment these days.'
'Ah, finally a computer whose inner workings even an old judge can understand.'
'You had some nightmare: a misplaced DD override, an invalid concatenation, some other JCL errors ... '
Psychiatrist is also Computer Analyst.
'She's our first born. We haven't picked a name, but it will be case sensitive with at least one numeral.'
'I thought I had them all figured out, and then they started talking about their 'biological clocks.''
'Hi, Pam, I'm Dave from tech support online. Just hit these three keys and your back in business!'
"How's the computer analysis going?"