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"I need someone who knows how to operate computer people."
"What's wtih the ladder? Is it a stairway to heaven?"
'We want people to see the human side of IT.'
Grog was the best IT man in the business.
"Since you want to work in our tech dept., you can start off by deleting these files from my personal, offline file."
'I'm going to retrieve my lunch, access a cup of coffee, and remain off-line for an hour. In other words, if someone calls I'm out to lunch.'
"I'll come down only for a software problem. I don't make mouse calls."
"Oh great! First my internet goes down, then my email crashes and now my bleedin' screen's frozen..."
"Save! Save! "
"IT says they can't solve your problem... I'm from Anger Management."
'No, they're not kids on a field trip. They're from our IT department. They seem to be getting younger and younger these days.'
'Is this computer fast, or what? You just drilled a hole in the Space-Time-Continuum! No biggie, though. Just hit 'Control-Escape-Home' and you'll be back to normal!'
Computer security is slightly over the top.
Computer engineer who doesn't know what he's doing.
"I.T. Solutions! No, I'm sorry, you've got the wrong generation."
"And that's our hacking department."
"Nobody really knows what goes on in there...we're a faith-based organization."
"Control, Alt, Delete? Okay, now what if the computer is literally on fire?"
"Yeah, I called. . . my computer crashed."