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'Yes Sir, I finished the report two days ago - I'm just trying to decide on what font to use.'
Computer thinks: 'I'm sure it's got a mind of it's own!'
'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'
Initially excited about the possibilities of email, God lost interest when he discovered someone was already using his favorite screen name.
Customer: 'I've got a complaint. This laptop doesn't fit my lap!'
"Something was definitely lost when we went from being hunter-gathers to browser-purchasers."
Tags:computer, computers, desk job, desk jobs, office job, office jobs, browser, browsers, computer work, hunter-gatherer, hunter-gatherers, lost, lose, lost something, nostalgia, nostalgic, office worker, office workers, sitting down, sit down, work, working, worker, workers, profession, professions, human development, human evolution
"There's nothing to be scared of, Mrs. Miller, it's just another teaching tool!"
"The computers are fine, the staff has crashed."
Tags:offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers, overworked, overworking, workaholic, workaholics, workaholism, computer, computers, modern technology, modern technologies, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, work life balance, work-life balance, crashed out, crashing out, exhausted, exhaustion
"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."
Tags:internet, invention, inventions, inventor, inventors, prototype, protoypes, early version, early versions, internet traffic, web browser, web browsers, beta, beta version, beta versions, beta test, beta tests, beta testing, progress, interest, human interest, technology, technological development, tech industry, tech industries, technological progress, progressing, computer, computers, computing, computing power, computer power
"I need a more interactive you."
Tags:technology, computer, computers, addicted, addict, addicts, addiction, internet, online, nerd, nerd, geek, geeks, techie, techies, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, spouse, spouses, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, angry, upset, reality, interactive, communication, modern life
Doctor: 'Your discomfort may well be a bandwidth issue.'
Los Alamos Hard Drives
"I'd like to believe we're redefining the way future generations will waste their time."
Perils of Home Banking
Tags:tech, modern tech, modern technology, modern technologies, banking, online banking, bank teller, bank tellers, banktellers, bankteller, security, online security, internet security, internet banking, home banking, queue, queues, queuing, waiting in line, computer, computers, pc, pcs, modern life, modern times
"The dongles have started connecting to each other at night for emotional support."
COVID-19 Isolation Innovation
Tags:laptop, laptops, computer, computers, innovation, innovate, innovates, communication, communicating, video call, video calls, video calling, video conference, video conferences, remote working, working from home, work from home, wfh, connected, connect, covid-19, corona, coronavirus, novel coronavirus, corona virus, novel corona virus, pandemic, pandemics, epidemic, epidemics, disease, diseases, illness, sickness, virus, viruses, self-isolation, social distancing, quarantine, quarantines, quarantined, lockdown, lockdowns
"Lassie, get tech support."
Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,
"We're replacing you with an abacus. So sorry."
Tags:firing, fired, unemployment, termination, downsizing, laid off, lay offs, replacing, replacement, replacements, abacus, technology, computer, computers, human, humans, master, masters, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, employee, employees, worker, workers, student, students, office, offices, office life, asia, asian, asians
"I feel like my best passwords are already behind me."
Tags:password, passwords, internet, internet problems, good ideas, best ideas, new ideas, running out of ideas, technology, privacy, internet privacy, security, internet security, protect, protection, new password, new passwords, forgotten password, forget password, modern life, modern problems, online, website, websites, internet password, internet passwords, computer, computers, computer password, computer passwords, writers block, writer's block, account, accounts
A grave that reads "Read the comments".
Tags:death, dead, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, tombstone, tombstones, headstone, headstones, gravestone, gravestone, grave, graves, epitaph, epitaphs, read the comments, comment, comments, social media, social networking, social network, social networks, technology, computer, computers, internet, online
"The networks are losing share and you sit there reading?"
Tags:television, televisions, watching television, tv, tvs, watching tv, t.v., t.v.s, watching t.v., network, networks, audience, viewer, viewers, broadcasting, broadcaster, broadcasters, ratings, market share, losing, declining, technology, computer, computers, internet, online, platform, platforms, video streaming, streaming, on demand, video-on-demand, streaming services, streaming service, reading, book, books, literature, reader, readers, saving, rescuing, traditions, traditional, old-fashioned, entertainment, modern life
"If you no longer wish to receive calls about special offers, press any key. But not the same one you pressed last time because that obviously didn't work."
Tags:call, calls, phone call, phone calls, technology, tech, smart phone, smart phones, automated message, computer, computers, customer service, frustrating, frustrated, infuriating, infuriated, automated messaging, modern life, middle age, middle aged, unsubscribe, unsubscribing, subscribe, subscription, subscriptions, notification, notifications
"I hate this damn thing!"
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, heaven's gate, entrance to heaven, st. peter's gate, saint peter's gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, angel, angels, god, computer, computers, computer problem, computer problems, technology, problem, problems, information technology, i.t., it, modern life
"No, I'm not backing up our files–I'm just assuming that the F.B.I. is making copies."
Tags:computer, computers, file, files, computer file, computer files, save, back-up, back-ups, back up, back ups, backup, backups, backing up, document, documents, copy, copies, business, businessman, businessmen, corporate, executive, executives, criminal, criminals, corporation, corporations, company, companies, database, databases, data, fbi, federal bureau of investigations, f.b.i., feds, federal government, nsa, national security agency, n.s.a., security, privacy, intelligence agency, intelligence agencies, spy, spying, spies, invasion of privacy, internet privacy, computer privacy, internet security, technology, surveillance, under surveillance, shady, suspect, suspicious