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'Needs to be more tweetable.'
"As if your first clapping faux pas wasn't egregious enough."
Tags:concert, concerts, music concert, music concerts, orchestra, orchestras, audience, audiences, muscian, musicians, conductor, conductor, audience expectations, expectation, expectations, unwritten rule, unwritten rules, faux pas, blunder, blunders, high-culture, low-culture, pretentious, pretention, pretentiousness
An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.
Tags:flight, flights, cockpit, cockpits, pilot, pilots, engineer, engineers, engine drive, engine drivers, train driver, train drivers, train, trains, conductor, conductors, captain, captains, plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, ominous, worry, worries, fear, fears
"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."
Tags:catcher, catchers, catch, coach, coaching, coaches, music, musicians, musical, classical, classical music, conductor, conducting, conduct, conducts, baseball, base ball, ball game, the game, sport, sports, team sports, batter, batting, play ball, inning, innings, orchestra, orchestral, adagio, adagios, allegro, allegro, fast ball, fastball, pitch, pitcher, pun, puns, punny
"I've always wanted to go to consecutive performances of the same symphony led by different conductors - you know what I mean?"
"I won't lie to you.Chopin's 'Funeral March' is a bad sign."
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, jury, juries, defendant, defendants, client, clients, defense, defence, foreman, foreman, verdict, verdicts, sentencing, punishments, capital punishment, death penalty, execution, executions, bad sign, bad signs, lie, lies, lying, truth, honest, honesty, orchestra, music, musical instrument, musical instruments, instrument, instruments, conductor, conductors, conducting, musician, musicians, composer, composers, frederic chopin, chopin, piano sonata no. 2, funeral march
"Rehearsal's off! Our first violinist was apprehended early this morning poaching clams in Great South Bay! The authorities have confiscated her rake and long tongs!"
Tags:music, orchestra, orchestras, band, bands, musical instrument, musical instruments, rehearsal, rehearsals, practice, practise, practicing, practising, conductor, conductors, first violin, violinist, violinists, cancelled, canceled, cancelling, canceling, arrested, apprehended, poaching, poacher, poachers, authorities, police, cops, confiscated, musician, musicians
Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...
Tags:bean, beans, baked, trumpet, trumpets, trombone, trombones, saxophone, saxophones, sax, conduct, conductor, musical, fruit, fruits, blow, off, noise, noises, noisy, tune, tuning, note, notes, notation, brass, instrument, instruments, band, bands, orchestra, orchestras, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
Tags:conductor, conductors, orchestra, orchestras, music, musician, musicians, music, fake, fakes, faker, fake it, fakes it, faking it, musician, musicians, musical, read music, reads music, reading music, music stand, music stands, fraud, frauds, impostor, impostors, impostor syndrome, unprepared, failing to prepare, preparation, preparations, preparing
A conductor bows while a one-man-band sits, exhausted.
Tags:one man band, one-man bands, conductor, conductors, conducting, musician, musicians, multi-instrumentalist, multi-instrumentalists, credit, take credit, taking credit, hogging credit, boss, bosses, overworked, 1%, elite, elites, populist, populists, populism, overworked, stress, stresses, stressed out
'Actually I'm self-taught.'
Tags:music, musics, musical, instrument, instruments, tuba, tubas, horn, horns, brass, self taught, self-taught, conductor, conductors, musician, musicians, idiot, idiots, fool, fools, wrong, wrongness, incorrect, introduce, introduces, introduction, introductions, explain, explains, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"You promised to stop bringing your work home."
"Welcome to an evening of doo-wop! Just kidding, folks. Now for the Berlioz."
"Your scheme will never work! I'm the conductor."
'Come on... Come on... Throw the stick...'
"Well, folks, looks like we're going to be together here for a bit, so how about each of you turning to your neighbor and saying 'Howdy'?"
Tags:subway, subways, tube, the tube, underground, the underground, underground train, underground trains, commute, the commute, commuter, commuters, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, antisocial, anti social, anti-social, unsocial, unsociable, conductor, conductors, broken down, braking down, howdy, socialise, socialize, socialising, socializing
An orchestra cymbalist is tempted by a fly.
There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.
Musician playing the piano on a computer.
"I'm going to need even less tuba."
"As per the terms of my divorce, my ex-wife will conduct the final movement."
'Yawn ... It was easier to stay awake when I worked rock concerts.'