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"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."
"You'll be fine, just act like you know what you're doing - that's what everyone else does."
"Well, Al, three-card monte has been good to us."
Fake wheelchair user.
'When you've found some change for the gas meter have a look a this email you got from some bloke in Africa asking you to safeguard 13 million dollars...'
"We could do covers for the duvets - the idiots, er, customers would buy them!!!"
"The upstairs toilet leaked so we decided to frame it and call it a Gerhard Richter."
'Human rights are a western con trick. If you let us plunder your country, we'll teach you how a one party system works.'
If You Deposit $10,000 In The Account Of An African Prince We'll Give You A Million Dollars!
Dracula Shills For A TV Shopping Channel
"He made me think I could clear it."
"Good morning Mr. Perkiss - I'm from your local bank. I've come to take our house back..."
"I've just bought my season ticket..."
"Good heavens no, I haven't always been a monarch! I started as a confidence trickster."