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Tags:day of rest, days of rest, sabbath, atone, atones, atonement, casual dress, casual dresses, dressing, sermon, sermons, sunday, sunday mass, sunday masses, sunday service, sunday services, services, church, churchgoer, churchgoers, churchgoing, hawaiian print, congregation, congregations, seventh day, day of rest, days of rest, casual dress, casual wear
"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."
Tags:religion, religious, church, churches, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, reverend, reverends, sermon, sermons, parish, congregation, congregations, parishioner, parishioners, church-goer, church-goers, sick, sickness, ill, illness, disease, diseases, death, dying, church fund, church funds, donation, donations, offering, offerings, money, punishment, punishments, blessing, blessings, money-hungry, greedy, greed, sin, sins, grotesque
Regular Confession and Express Booth.
'What could I say? They are her most Eastery shoes.'
'Don't worry. I'm a church pastor. First little problem, and they'll find me.'
"Sheldon is having a mid-life crisis. He can't decide whether to remain Reform, become Orthodox or return to Conservative."
Tags:religion, religious, religious politics, judaism, reform judaism, orthodox judaism, conservative judaism, masorti judaism, denomination, denominations, congregation, congregations, decision, decisions, deciding, choosing, choice, choices, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, unsure, uncertain, middle age, middle-age, middle aged, middle-aged
"The congregation wants you to know we think you have a very nice speaking voice..."
"Stop me if you've heard this one before."
Tags:religion, religious, religious imagery, pulpit, pulpits, church, churches, religions, preach, preaching, preacher, preachers, preached, pastor, pastors, priest, priests, sermon, sermons, story, long, long and boring, boring, bore, bored, heard this, heard before, repeat, repeated, repetitive, irony, ironic, ironically, sunday, christian, christianity, altar, congregation, communication, communicate, storytelling, skill, skills
"I love these bipartisan gatherings, don't you?"
Tags:bipartisan, bipartisanship, myth, myths, mythology, mythological creature, mythological creatures, faun, centaur, griffin, gryphon, winged serpent, angel, christian, christianity, pagan, pagans, gather, gathers, gathering, interfaith, multi-faith, congregation, congregations, get-together, get-togethers, party, parties, partying
'He always breaks away from the Church on Sunday mornings.'
Tags:schism, schisms, church, churches, church of england, coe, christianity, christian, christians, homosexual, homosexuals, gay marriage, gay marriages, same-sex marriage, same-sex marriages, church marriage, church weddings, gay rights, religious belief, religious beliefs, congregation, congregations, parishioner, parishioners, sunday morning, sunday mornings
'Billy, you're embarrassing us. Please stop saying 'ka-ching, ka-ching'.'
Two Jewish temples on a desert island: one advertises it's "Orthodox congregation" while the other advertises it's "Reform Congregation".
Tags:judaism, jewish, orthodox judaism, orthodox jew, orthodox jews, reform judaism, reform jew, reform jews, temple, temples, synagogue, synagogues, relaxed, strict, informal, formal, desert island, desert islands, choice, choices, congregation, congregations, religious politics, religious, religion, shpasik, jtoons
St. Lukes Church: Pray and Display
'The minister's trying something new to encourage more contributions to the Sunday collection.'
"His sermon last Sunday, 'The Shall Inherit the Earth,' had them rolling in the aisles."
Tags:meek, shall inherit the earth, sermon on the mount, sermon, sermons, christ, jesus christ, sermon, sermons, minister, ministers, reverend, reverends, priest, priests, unholy, sunday, church, churches, churchgoer, churchgoers, blasphemy, blasphemer, congregation, congregations, greed, greedy, greediness, modern life, modern times
"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."
"So, please, dig a little deeper and help us get rid of pop-up ads for good."
It's a good thing Pastor Jones knew semaphore...
"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."
Tags:pastor, pastors, church leader, church leaders, priest, priests, evangelical, evangelicals, evangelical christian, evangelical christians, skip church, skips church, skipping church, minister, ministers, vicar, vicars, congregation, congregations, worship, worships, worshiping, worshipping, worshiper, worshipers, jump the gun, jumps the gun, jumping the gun
"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."
Aquarium Religious Ceremonies
Tags:aquarium, aquariums, fish-tank, fish-tanks, fish tanks, goldfish, fishes, goldfishes, gold fishes, worships, religious ceremony, religious ceremonies, fish, fish tank, gold fish, religion, god, prayer, worship, ceremony, ceremonies, sacrament, church, priest, preacher, pastor, rabbi, congregation, extra crispy, pet, pets, fish owner, fish owners
'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'
"I'm the owner of Happy Pappy's comedy club. Here's my card. Call me."
Tags:comedian, comedians, comedy, comedies, comic, comics, comedy act, comedy acts, churches, church, sermon, sermons, worship, worshipping, stand up, stand-up, stand ups, stand-ups, career change, career changes, vicar, vicars, minister, ministers, priest, priests, congregation, congregations, parishioner, parishioners, sense of humour, sense of humor, joke, jokes, joker, jokers
"Uh-oh, it's the cell phone police."
Tags:church, churches, cell phone, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, mobile phone, mobile phones, pew, pews, inopportune moment, inopportune moments, eject, ejects, ejected, ejection, mass, masses, priest, priests, pastor, pastors, congregation, congregations, christian, christians, christianity, police, eighty-six, 86ed