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Tags:day of rest, days of rest, sabbath, atone, atones, atonement, casual dress, casual dresses, dressing, sermon, sermons, sunday, sunday mass, sunday masses, sunday service, sunday services, services, church, churchgoer, churchgoers, churchgoing, hawaiian print, congregation, congregations, seventh day, day of rest, days of rest, casual dress, casual wear
"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."
Tags:religion, religious, church, churches, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, reverend, reverends, sermon, sermons, parish, congregation, congregations, parishioner, parishioners, church-goer, church-goers, sick, sickness, ill, illness, disease, diseases, death, dying, church fund, church funds, donation, donations, offering, offerings, money, punishments, blessing, blessings, money-hungry, greedy, greed, sins, grotesque
Preaching to the Choir Since 1846
'What could I say? They are her most Eastery shoes.'
"Hey, man, you didn't have to mention me by name."
"It saddens me to think that so many of my customers are going to hell."
"Sheldon is having a mid-life crisis. He can't decide whether to remain Reform, become Orthodox or return to Conservative."
Tags:religion, religious, religious politics, judaism, reform judaism, orthodox judaism, conservative judaism, masorti judaism, denomination, denominations, congregation, congregations, decision, decisions, deciding, choosing, choice, choices, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, unsure, uncertain, middle age, middle-age, middle aged, middle-aged
"I just want to take a minute today to acknowledge all the guys out there named Bret who are too shy to correct people who think their name is Brad."
"I love these bipartisan gatherings, don't you?"
Tags:bipartisan, bipartisanship, myth, myths, mythology, mythological creature, mythological creatures, faun, centaur, griffin, gryphon, winged serpent, angel, christian, christianity, pagan, pagans, gather, gathers, gathering, interfaith, multi-faith, congregation, congregations, get-together, get-togethers, party, parties, partying
"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven
Tags:eye of a needle, priest, priests, vicar, vicars, mass, church service, church services, church, churches, empty church, empty churches, preacher, preachers, preaching, preach, sermon, sermons, sermonising, congregation, congregations, dog biscuit, dog biscuits, dog, dogs, dog lover, dog lovers, dog owner, dog owners, dog person, dog people
'Billy, you're embarrassing us. Please stop saying 'ka-ching, ka-ching'.'
'He always breaks away from the Church on Sunday mornings.'
Tags:schism, schisms, church, churches, church of england, coe, christianity, christian, christians, gay marriages, same-sex marriages, church marriage, church weddings, gay rights, religious belief, religious beliefs, congregation, congregations, parishioner, parishioners, sunday morning, sunday mornings
Two Jewish temples on a desert island: one advertises it's "Orthodox congregation" while the other advertises it's "Reform Congregation".
Tags:judaism, jewish, orthodox judaism, orthodox jew, reform judaism, reform jew, reform jews, temple, temples, synagogue, synagogues, relaxed, strict, informal, formal, desert island, desert islands, choice, choices, congregation, congregations, religious politics, religious, religion, shpasik, jtoons
Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?
St. Lukes Church: Pray and Display
'The minister's trying something new to encourage more contributions to the Sunday collection.'
"His sermon last Sunday, 'The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth,' had them rolling in the aisles."
Tags:meek, shall inherit the earth, sermon on the mount, sermon, sermons, christ, jesus christ, sermon, sermons, minister, ministers, reverend, reverends, priest, priests, unholy, sunday, church, churches, churchgoer, churchgoers, blasphemy, blasphemer, congregation, congregations, greed, greedy, greediness, modern life, modern times
It's a good thing Pastor Jones knew semaphore...
"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."
Tags:pastor, pastors, church leader, church leaders, priest, priests, evangelical, evangelicals, evangelical christian, evangelical christians, skip church, skips church, skipping church, minister, ministers, vicar, vicars, congregation, congregations, worship, worships, worshiping, worshipping, worshiper, worshipers, jump the gun, jumps the gun, jumping the gun
"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."
'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'
"I'm the owner of Happy Pappy's comedy club. Here's my card. Call me."
Tags:comedian, comedians, comedy, comedies, comic, comics, comedy act, comedy acts, churches, church, sermon, sermons, worship, worshipping, stand up, stand-up, stand ups, stand-ups, career change, career changes, vicar, vicars, minister, ministers, priest, priests, congregation, congregations, parishioner, parishioners, sense of humour, sense of humor, joke, jokes, joker, jokers
'I think I see why attendance has been down.'
"Uh-oh, it's the cell phone police."
Tags:church, churches, cell phone, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, mobile phone, mobile phones, pew, pews, inopportune moment, inopportune moments, eject, ejects, ejected, ejection, mass, masses, priest, priests, pastor, pastors, congregation, congregations, christian, christians, christianity, police, eighty-six, 86ed