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"You were filibustering in your sleep again."
"And bear in mind that anything you say can be used against you in 'Doonesbury.'"
"I've decided to leave public office because I lost the election."
"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"
'I agree with your position completely; you can count on my support.'
"Give me a hint. I'm sleeping with a lot of lobbyists."
"Fred, this is Congressman Morlen. The Congressman has been demonized by his opponent."
"The whole time I served in the US congress, I dreamed of exactly this: being a wealthy lobbyist sitting here with you."
"Listen, pal! I didn't spend seven million bucks to get here so I could yield the floor to you."
"The voters sent me a message I didn't approve of."
"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"
"Check it out..! We've developed a turkey with a tiny brain and absolutely no backbone!"
"Hello there...! I'm your hardworking GOP Congressional Representative. I'm running for re-election and I would appreciate your support..."
"What do you want to do today - Raise taxes or lower standards?"
"Never mind that -- I have an idea for marriage term limits!"
"I ran into my newly elected representative and he said to fix things, we'll all have to go through a little pain. I kicked him in the shin."
'Hi, this is your congressional representative. To find out why I want to tax you even more, press one. To find out why I like to waste your money, press two...'