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"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."
'Of course we want medical staff to have choice...and this is how we want them to use it.'
Health MOT's will attract 'worried well'
Doctor Sponsored by Pharmaceutical Companies
Tags:doctor, doctors, patient, patients, consultant, consultants, consultation, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, drug company, drug companies, big pharma, marketing, drug marketing, drug lobby, sponsorship, sponsors, sponsor, nhs, medicare, medical care, medical practice, pharmacy, advertising, advertisor, advertiser, advertisement, ad, advert
"I've written my diagnosis on this piece of paper. I'm going to slide it over to you, and I want you to tell me if you're interested."
Tags:doctor, doctors, health, healthy, diagnose, diagnosis, symptom, symptoms, get well soon, get well, sales, sales pitch, unorthodox methods, hospital, hospitals, surgery, surgeon, consultant, consultation, handwriting, doctor's handwriting, physician, check-up, appointment, hypochondria, hypochondriac, hypochondriasis
'The nurse says I'm morbidly obese... So what are you going to do about it.'
Rhinoplasty"I think I'd like this one."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, rhino, rhinos, rhinoceros, rhinoceroses, horn, horns, nose, noses, face, faces, facial, rhinoplasty, nose job, cosmetic surgery, cosmetic surgeries, plastic surgery, plastic surgeries, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, plastic surgeon, plastic surgeons, cosmetic surgeon, cosmetic surgeons, surgeons, doctor, doctors, appointment, appointments, consultation, consultations, medical, medicine, vain, vanity, beauty, insecure, insecurity, model, models, office, offices, clinic, clinics, size, sizes, reduction, reductions, shape, shapes, word play, wordplay
'You're meant to take the nicotine patches off after you've used them.'
"Well my records are factually CORRECT...but where's the PASSION, the MYSTERY, THE REAL ME!..." Electronic records will prolong consultations
Telephone consultations worked but maybe TEXT consultations were a step too far...Does anyone recognise 'fngx stre pink' as a symptom?.
"And if the golf area of the brain was somehow destroyed, there might be a little something extra in it for you."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, operation, operations, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, consultation, consultations, brain surgery, brain surgeon, brain surgeons, neurology, neurologist, neurologists, neurosurgeon, neurosurgeons, sport, sports, golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, hobby, hobbies, leisure, money, bribe, bribes, bribing, corruption, corrupt, area, area, destroyed, brain, brains, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, manipulating, manipulation
'Excellent! So that's all agreed, then! All we need do now is draft the consultation document.'
Local Democracy: How it works. . .
'We're extending an offer of employment to you contingent upon the results of a drug test, psychological consultation...'
"In the novel based on my case, I'm acquitted."
Tags:novel, novels, novelisation, novelisations, novelization, novelizations, adaptation, adaptations, adapted, adapt, adapts, film adaptation, film adaptations, happy ending, happy endings, hollywood ending, hollywood endings, writer, writers, inmate, inmates, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, lawyer, lawyers, consultation, consultations, acquittal, acquittals, acquitted, trial, trials, writer, writers, fictionalize, fictionalizing, fictionalization
"I'm glad you took the trouble to diagnose your own symptoms using the internet...and you'd be 100% accurate...IF you were a GOAT."
"I don't need to check your chart! The best time for you to have surgery is right now!"
"Mr. Tilson will suffer you gladly now."
Tags:waiting room, waiting rooms, reception, receptions, receptionist, receptionists, suffer fools gladly, suffering fools gladly, lobby, lobbies, wait, waiting, appointment, appointments, business man, business men, business person, business people, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, st paul, saint paul, shakespeare, business meeting, business meetings, business proposal, business proposals, business executive, business executives, interview, interviews, invite, invitation, invitations, consult, consultation, consultation
"Well, Mr. Carter - this is weird...your results are off the scale..."
"Then don't do that."
Tags:sport, sports, baseball, pitcher, pitchers, pitch, pitching, baseball player, baseball players, athlete, athletes, hurt, hurts, injury, injured, pain, painful, twist, bend, doctor, doctors, medicine, medical, advice, clinic, clinics, hospital, hospital, doctor's office, doctor's office, health care, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointment, examination, examinations, consultation, consultations, healthcare, health care, don't do that, kinesiologists, kinesiologist, kinesiology
"Oh, stop complaining! Our partner agencies conducted a full tenant consultation exercise!"
STRIP *Community Care * 'client empowerment' policy
"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"
"You the guy who donated his body to science?”
Tags:be the bearer of bad news, bad news, bearer of bad news, science, donation, donate to science, donate, donated, organ donation, medicine, doctor, doctors, unexpected, health, healthcare, healthy, death's door, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, cadaver, cadavers, medical training, junior doctor, specimen, specimens, consultant, consultation, checkup, check-up, checkups, check up, get well, get well soon, well wishes
"Your health crisis continues to unfold."
Tags:doctor, doctors, surgeon, surgery, medicine, medicines, health, healthy, health crisis, crisis, bad, bad news, news, new, media, media jargon, jargon, sick, sickness, sicken, ill, illness, illnesses, disease, diseases, leave, sick leave, consultant, consult, consultation, blatant, blatancy, frank, frankness, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour