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"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."
'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'
"Once upon a time there were three little pigs who had this real sweetheart of a rent-controlled deal."
"Great news! All of those bill collectors stopped hounding me because the hacker who stole my identity is being hounded by them now."
'What - it's the third time your gun hasn't worked?! Here, take may card - I'm Wayne Poborsky, consumer protection lawyer!'
A pair of men collapse under the weight of bank loans.
Consumer Protection Act.
'Acquisitions can be expensive, but with a few more, we can be done entirely with the cost of customer satisfaction.'
Once upon a time, lead poisoning meant someone who got shot down. Today it means someone who touched a toy made in China.
'Whoops - looks like another recall...'
Do you sell insurance against getting ripped off by insurance companies?
'Finnegan's hurt bad, sir -- a crate of warning labels fell on him!'
Man contains water...false promises...fat...true grit...cliches.
'Again a guy drowned with a lead contaminated doll made in China...'
"According to new consumer protection laws we've got to stick this on every coffin."
"Consumer Protection Agency. Have the recipients agreed in writing to receive gifts from you, sir?"