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"The flu is coming! The flu is coming!"
Tags:bird flu, bird flues, flu, flues, flu season, influenza, flu strain, flu strains, chicken, chickens, barnyard, barnyards, barnyard animal, barnyard animals, chicken coop, chicken coops, outbreak, outbreaks, pandemic, pandemics, disease, diseases, disease transmission, contagious, contagion, contagions, chicken little
'The good news is that I don't think it's contagious.'
The Day The Entire Kemple Family Had A Virus
"I'm warning you, I have a cold!"
Tags:cold, colds, influenza, knife crime, knife crimes, contagion, contagions, contagious, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, flu, germ, germs, contagious disease, contagious diseases, street crime, street crimes, thug, thugs, mugger, muggers, intimidation, germophobe, germophobes, germophobic, germophobics, germophobia, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, hypochondria
"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."
"What do you say we get out of here and go someplace less contagious?"
Tags:contagion, contagions, contagious, clean freak, clean freaks, germ, germs, germaphobe, germaphobes, germaphobic, germophobia, germophobic, germophobe, germaphobia, bar, bars, unclean, pickup line, pickup lines, chat up, chats up, chatting up, chat up line, chat up lines, pick-up line, pick-up lines, hit on, hits on, hitting on
'All in favour of an MP cull, say 'aye'...'
Tags:badger, badgers, culls, cull, badger cull, rural britain, gloucestershire, farmer, farmers, tb, cattle, tuberculosis, contagion, contagions, contagious, disease, diseases, dairy farm, dairy farms, local, wildlife, wild-life, environment secretary, animal rights, animal activist, animal activists
'Relax. It's from the cappuccino.'
'Whaddya mean sneeze the other way? I only know one way to sneeze.'
'I've changed my mind about becoming a doctor. . . you have to wash your hands too often!'
"It's Lyme disease again."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, lyme, lyme disease, deer, reindeer, tick, ticks, deer tick, deer ticks, diagnosis, diagnoses, doctor, doctors, saint nick, saint nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, exposure, illness, illnesses, contagion, contagions, disease vector, disease vectors, transmission, disease transmission
'Do you see any signs of improvement in their conditions?!'
"I can see it from here."
Tags:dermatologist, dermatology, dermatologists, skin rashes, rashes, contagion, contagions, infection, infections, infectious, doctor, doctors, skin specialist, skin specialists, skin rash, rash, contagious, catching, virulent, scaly, gross, skin falling off, sloughing, hives, diagnosis, exam room, exam, skin condition
'You want the chili? - Have you had all your shots?'
Shaking hands will transfer bacteria
"Well, whatever it is - it's contagious."
Tags:contagious, contagion, contagions, illness, illnesses, disease, diseases, disease transmission, disease transmissions, spread, spreads, spreading, infection, infections, nose, noses, nasal, fungus, fungi, doctor, doctors, doctor's office, doctor's offices, mysterious illness, diagnosis, diagnoses, mystery disease, mystery diseases
"I'm stepping out of line!"
Tags:author, authors, novelist, novelists, writer, writers, disease, diseases, pandemic, pandemics, plague, plagues, epidemic, epidemics, book signing, book signings, bookshop, bookshops, book shop, book shops, bestselling author, bestselling authors, contagion, contagions, apocalypse, apocalyptic, apocalyptic disease, contagious disease, contagious diseases, book, books, novel, novels
'No, dear, it's not necessary to go to the doctor because Mia kissed you.'
"I'm afraid there is no cure for what you have, but it's not contagious, which is a relief. Because I've been like, touching you and stuff."
"Have you seen this bug? It's going around."
Tags:virus, viruses, bug, bugs, illness, illnesses, sick, sickness, sicknesses, ill, detective, detectives, investigate, investigator, investigators, infection, infections, biology, doctor, doctors, disease, diseases, missing person, missing persons, suspect, suspects, wanted poster, wanted posters, contagion, contagions, contagious
Greetings from Hypochondria House
"Sorry it took so long. I'm the only one without hepatitis."
Tags:hepatitis, hepatitis b, infection, infections, disease, diseases, contagion, contagions, contagious, contagious disease, contagious diseases, waiter, waiters, server, servers, restaurant staff, food hygiene, health and safety, health & safety, food safety, staff illness, staff illnesses, infectious disease, infectious diseases, food poisoning, chef, chefs, off-putting, unappetizing, unappetising, off putting, bodily fluids
"I wouldn't get too close. I have a really bad virus."
'It's nothing serious I hope, doc.'