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I think my wife has dug a tunnel under the bar
"I lined it up with our prenup."
'I told my boss that you told me to ask him for a raise. And he told me to tell you no.'
"My goodness, Albert! Would it kill you if you...okay, forget it. Stupid question."
'It's for my husband.'
'One of your problems here, is that you don't let your husband finish a sentence.'
"I can't join you guys till this list of New Year's resolutions gets approved by my wife."
"Yes, you may make a wish. No, it can't be a divorce."
"I felt a disturbance in the Force. Were you about to contradict me?"
"This wine has hints of rebellion with a lingering finish of rugged individuality - did you buy this to defy me?"
"Of course our relationship is a democracy. I'm the president and you're not."