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"I now believe in God."
'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'
Preaching to the Choir Since 1846
'I'm sorry but you obviously don't believe in God because you didn't forward the religious emails to 10 or more people in your address book.'
"O.K., I know it's a long shot, but if we can each convert one lion ..."
Tags:lion, lions, convert, converts, conversion, conversions, gladiator, gladiators, gladiatorial games, damnatio ad bestias, capital punishment, capital punishments, games, roman games, capital punishment, execution, executions, ancient rome, ancient roman, ancient romans, roman, romans, christian, christians, christianity, long shot, long shots, long-shot, long-shots, faith, religious freedoms
"I told your parents I would convert."
"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."
Tags:centimeters, centimetre, metric system, metric unit, imperial unit, imperial system, measurement, measurements, conversion, conversions, converting, convert, converts, converted, monk, monks, friar, friars, priest, priests, evangelical, evangelicals, evangelicalism, atheist, atheists, religious belief, religious beliefs
Tags:digital, media, national archive, national archives, computer, computers, electronic record, electronic records, analog, analogue, record, records, record keeper, record keepers, record keeping, storage, data storage, digital storage, cloud, cloud server, cloud servers, library, libraries, digitalization, digitalisation, convert, converts, converting, conversion, conversions
'Just like the website, lots of visitors, few conversions.'
"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."
Tags:jesus, christ, jesus christ, carry cross, carrying the cross, cross, crucifix, crucifixes, crosses, religion, religious, word play, word-play, play on words, jogger, jogging, jog, jogs, accept him as my, personal trainer, pt, personal trainers, personal training, training, train, trainer, personal best, sport, sports, running, run, runs, modern, modern life, christianity, christian, christians, convert, converting, converts, god, gods
"I just started following you."
Tags:christian, christians, christianity, faith, faiths, convert, converts, conversion, conversions, disciple, disciples, crucifixion, follower, followers, spiritual leader, religious leader, social media, social network, social networks, social networking, bible story, new testament, gospel, gospels
"I'm in the market for an easier religion."
'I've got a better idea. How 'bout you stop by the temple tomorrow, and WE can teach YOU how to live a life of sacrifice.'
'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'
"My Harold was thinking about becoming a Buddhist, but then his knee went out and he couldn't sit that way, so he became a Methodist."
"I wonder why we're not getting any new converts."
"You must be a 'new Christian'. You still have that new car smell."
"Once upon a time there were three little pigs who had this real sweetheart of a rent-controlled deal."
Tags:rent control, rent controls, rent controlled, rent, rents, renting, lease, leases, leasing, home, homes, tenant, tenants, tenancy, rights, buyer's rights, consumer rights, consumer's rights, consumers' rights advocate, consumer rights advocates, consumer protection, consumer protections, condo, condos, condominium, condominiums, convert, converts, conversion, conversions, prey, preys, preying, landlord, landlords, fable, fables, building owner, building owners, profit, profits, profit motive, profit motives, big bad wolf, three little pigs, real estate, real estate deal, real estate deals
"Actually, I was first drawn to Judaism not because of the religious beliefs but the dietary restrictions!"
"Okay, here's the deal- I'll stop chasing you if you agree to become a dog."
Tags:dog, dogs, puppy, puppies, pet dog, pet dogs, dog lover, dog lovers, pet, pets, dog owner, dog owners, mans best friend, man's best friend, cat, cats, pet cat, pet cats, cat lover, cat lovers, cats and dogs, cat and dogs, chasing cats, conversion, conversions, convert, converts, evangelical, evangelism, impossibility
"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"
Tags:sock, socks, missing sock, missing socks, laundry, laundry machine, washing machine, washing machines, housework, chore, chores, faith, faiths, conversion, conversions, finding jesus, christianity, christian, christians, faith, faiths, belief system, belief systems, evangelical, evangelicals, convert, converts, reynolds unwrapped
"I used to think that hypnotherapy was a pseudo-science but Phil has convinced me otherwise."
Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)
"When did you decide to start going to church?"
"Just ignore him. He witnessed his whole life and now he can't stop."
Tags:witness, witnesses, witnessing, jehovah's witness, jehovah's witnesses, jesus, evangelical, evangelicals, evangelicalism, convert, converts, converting, angel, angels, afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives, heaven, heavens, paradise, belief system, belief systems, religious belief, religious beliefs