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'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'
Do we have to watch Gordon Ramsey flambeing swordfish steaks in red wine while we eat our frozen fish cakes and instant mash?
'Even widescreen struggles to fit them in.'
And that's how to make cheese fondue!
"And that's how to make cheese fondue."
"How do you get cookery programmes on this?"
Popular Culture Vulture
"In the kitchen preparation is everything. Here's one I prepared earlier, & here's one I prepared even earlier."
Dicing with death.
'First, you saute the blubber - then you deep-fry it in penguin pancreas...'
Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.
'And I've teamed that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager.'
'I'll never be able to cook like TV chefs, goodbye.'
Welcome to 'The Really Cheap Gourmet.' First, go next door and borrow a lobster...
'Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!'
It was a defining moment in television history when Gordon Ramsay stuffed the peasant.
'Ready Steady Punk'
"Your dinner's being demonstrated on the cookery programme in ten minutes."
"It didn't look like this on Masterchef!"