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'Well this is awkward.'
Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News
Tags:alum, alums, alumni, alumnae, chance encounter, chance encounters, old friend, old friends, college friend, college friends, art school, art schools, visual arts, visual arts major, visual arts majors, faux pas, cringe, cringes, cringing, awkward, awkward scenario, awkward scenarios, awkward scene, awkward scenes, copywriter, copywriters, writing copy, copy, advertising agency, advertising agencies, career, careers, success, successes, successful, compare, compares, comparing, comparison, comparisons, waitress, waitresses, fail, fails, failing, failure, failures
"How do you get along with your boss?" "Great! She never reads what I send her."
"No, I'm not backing up our files–I'm just assuming that the F.B.I. is making copies."
Tags:computer, computers, file, files, computer file, computer files, save, back-up, back-ups, back up, back ups, backup, backups, backing up, document, documents, copy, copies, business, businessman, businessmen, corporate, executive, executives, criminal, criminals, corporation, corporations, company, companies, database, databases, data, fbi, federal bureau of investigations, f.b.i., feds, federal government, nsa, national security agency, n.s.a., security, privacy, intelligence agency, intelligence agencies, spy, spying, spies, invasion of privacy, internet privacy, computer privacy, internet security, technology, surveillance, under surveillance, shady, suspect, suspicious
'Let me guess. Your boss sent you a nasty e-mail, and you're composing your reply.'
"Which one of us is me?"
Tags:anonymous, anonymity, penguin, penguins, emperor penguins, who is me, who is speaking, antarctica, antarctic, south pole, south poles, unidentifiable, identify, identifies, identifying, who is who, same, similar, copy, copies, indistinguishable, personified, personification, personifies, personify
"It's a fabulous deal. Every time he lies I collect a royalty."
"If I were to tell you something, would you promise not to repeat it?"
"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."
Tags:art, artist, artists, artwork, artworks, painter, painters, painting, paintings, famous painting, famous paintings, copy, copies, forger, forgers, forging, counterfeit, counterfeiter, counterfeiters, fake, fakes, fraud, white-collar crime, criminal, criminals, national gallery, master, masters, museum, museums, gallery, galleries, collection, collector, collectors, art appraiser, art appraisers, news, good news, credit, taking credit, modern life
"Let me know if I'm going too fast for you."
Tags:artist, artists, painting, paints, painted, artistic, art, arts, paint, apprenticeship, apprenticeships, teach, teaching, child, kid, kids, children, board, boards, writing, writers, writing, write, chalkboard, chalkboards, whiteboard, whiteboards, copy, copying, copies, copied, copier, teacher, teachers, taught, educate, educating, school, schools
"Don't repeat this."
Tags:parrot, parrots, parroting, repeat, repeats, repeating, repetition, repetitions, copy, copies, copying, silence, secret, secrets, meeting, meetings, board meeting, board meetings, boardroom, boardrooms, executive, executives, leak, leaks, leaking, secret, secrets, keep secrets, keeping secrets, spill the beans, spilling the beans, talk, talks, talking, bird, birds, trustworthy, untrustworthy
'I'm glad you turned off the T.V.. I was worried you were going to spend your whole retirement watching pro wrestling.'
'Please look them over very carefully, Mr. Lamson, and let us know if you see the man who stole your identity.'
"I'd speak more if I heard anything worth repeating."
'Mine does the exact same thing - but without the tassel.'
"Would you agree that if you were to see a crime, you'd be more likely to do a crime?"
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, laws, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, defendant, defendants, animal, animals, monkey, monkeys, ape, apes, copying, copy, imitating, imitation, monkey see monkey do, expression, expressions
"No movie deal yet, but Kinko's extremely interested in the idea of making multiple copies of your screenplay."
Tags:screenplay, screenplays, movie deal, movie deals, film deal, film deals, movie, movies, film, films, writer, writers, author, authors, screenwriter, screenwriters, copy, copying, photocopying, copy shop, copy shops, print, printing, printing company, printing companies, agent, agents, la, l.a., hollywood
'First we build a henge, then they build a henge, now everybody's building henges.'
'Could you maybe fax a copy of this to my radiologist?'
"My God, there's been a terrible accident in our Chicago office!"
Tags:office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, accident, accidents, copy, copies, copy machine, copy machines, fax, fax machine, fax machines, tech, technology, technologies, idiot, idiots, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, scan, scans, scanner, satellite companies, satellite company, multi-office company
Little Tiny Push-Carts
School boys sitting test.
"I didn't copy your haircut, the same plane hit me."
Tags:parrot, parrots, parroted, parroting, imitate, imitating, imitation, imitations, imitator, imitators, copy, copying, copy cat, copy-cat, toilet humour, bathroom, bathrooms, restroom, restrooms, cloakroom, cloakrooms, lavatory, lavatories, w.c.w.c.s, toilet, toilets, loo, loos, going to the toilet, farts, fart joke, fart jokes, poo, pooing, excrement, excretion, pet, pets, pet parrot, pet parrots, pet owner, pet owners